Hay /lounge/. I need a job.

2 years ago, posing as a specialist stock trader, my company "dissapeared" whilst transacting $1500000 dollars worth of cargo which was dumped into the south china sea, unfortunately the chinese military police traced the money and I have had to freeze my account and flee to the US to live with my mom. Now I need a job, but I suffer from schizophrenic personality disorder becuase I spend so much time on the internet and I have absolutely no social skills or much physical stamina. I am rapidly running out of money, I have no personal transportation and I really don't want to work a 10 hour day, but I need to make at least $200 a day.

What should I do?

"Instead of taking my girlfriend out to an expensive dinner, I take her on a romantic hike into the secluded mountains or park. She loves it."

It's a man.