Deer Diary

Hallo 4chan!

OK, I'm going to start a diary on this fine board here. Why? Because I need something with lots of exposure. I have a lot of unusual problems. Also, a diary will help me to see my progress with my everyday life in a year from now. It will help me to keep track of my up and downs.

Ok, on to my first entry. Oh btw, I will sometimes enter multiple entries per day, depending on my need to share my feelings.

FIRST ENTRY!!! LETS GO!! IKKIMASCHO!

To do list for today:

1. Pick up again my antidepressants. I began my medication 4 weeks ago, but stopped 4 days ago because I ran out of pills and was too tired/lazy/afraid to pick up a new box of Paxil. I haven't experienced withdrawal symptoms yet, guess I was rakki?. Better not risk it..nobody wants to go through paxil/paroxetine withdrawal symptoms; i can tell you that.

2. Return the books I've borrowed from my local library. I've had them for 2 months.. I borrowed two books:

-Hitchhiker's Guide: Restaurant at the End of the Universe (by Douglas Adams)

-His Master's Voice (by Stanislav Lem) I haven't read the first yet, and lost latter at college. fuck..i could save $10 if i just went to the lost and found at m  college and ask if they found the bok..otherwise I have to pay for a book that I didn't even finish. I'm late anyway...I shouldhave returned the books 4 weeks ago. So now I already have to pay $15 in fees. Anyway, I'll return the hitchhikers book today.

-Call the guy from ebay to get my dumbbells that i've bought. I hope he will give me a good rating, because I should have called the guy after the auction ended..but didn't. That was 2 weeks ago.

That's it for now. I will now read Hitchhiker II (will take me about 3-4 hours, 200 pages) and then go to downtown to do the shit I just wrote about.

THE END.

bump past retard threads

6:44 PM
mood: ok

It's funny, I didn't think someone would bump this thread for amusement. Let's see, I started this thread one and a half years ago. I felt pretty shitty back then, it's better now, even though I'm just recovering from a shitty 3 month long episode of obsessive behavior: three months ago, the thought of watching every movie on the IMDB Top 250 list occurred to me and strangely locked itself into my mind.

http://www.imdb.com/chart/top

So, 3 months ago, I stopped going to work and have been power-watching movies the last ~90 days. I plugged out my phone, switched off my cell phone and didn't return calls of my employer and the few friends I have. I sat at home watching movies all day long, usually 2-4 feature-length movies per day. I have only like 12 movies to go, then I'd be done with the list, but I'm sick of it. just fucking sick of it.

You may think "so what..just another guy in his late teens or early 20s doing stupid shit". Well, I'm not just another guy. I'm 26 years old and still virgin. I don't have any post-higschool education (dropped out of and reapplied for college four times in the years 2003-2007). I'm a virgin, I've never kissed a girl on ther lips, I've never touched a girl's breasts. I'm fairly good-looking but I have vitiligo, a skin disorder (look it up on google). This job I quit (doing gardening on an organic vegetables plant) was my first real job in all of my 26 years.

I'm a recovering social phobic and sometimes have episodes of OCD, but this is the last time.

Anyway, today I'm gonna give life another try. I think this time I will succeed, meaning:

-spending more time with people instead of being alone (watching movies, playing singleplayer videogames) and slowly build up a social network
-get some new hobbies (cooking, guitar, singing, sports)
-getting a real job
-then reapply for college
-and live a normal life

I'm now going co clean up my room and do my laundry because I haven't in the last 90 days. I've worn the same socks for the last 60 days or so..pretty fucked up.

PS: What really pisses me off is that the last 90 days (June, July, August) really made up the summer of 2008. So I spent another summer of my life at home, alone. Fucking hell. Why did I turn out to be this way? (I know why (and have written why), that was just a rhetoric question). I have missed so many opportunities. I mean, even in this very thread you're reading (yes here, on THE LOUNGE), a girl offered to talk with me on AIM and I told her in this very thread I would contact her on AIM, but I didn't. But it's never too late to change. 七転八起 (nana korobi, ya oki) means falling down seven times, and standing up eight times), it's become my motto.

See you soon, in this thread.

THE END

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy