Name: Love_fiasco-guy 2006-05-07 18:38
I got to know her when I entered the 11 grade and we had religion classes together(september 2004). So, I instantly noticed that there was something about her, well, something on which I couldn't could place my finger, that just drew my attention. Later I noticed what it was: her personality. But more of that later.
So anyway, seeing as I am a big coward about feelings and can hardly hint at them, let alone speak 'em out, I tried to become kind of friends with her. She got together with a guy from the same religion class whom she knew for quite some while(november 2004). So, I buried my feelings deep inside and tried not to interfere, after all, she was happy with him, so who am I to break a good relationship down? He was a really boring guy actually, witty sometimes, but overall a borefest. Hell, I'm no Dave Chappelle, but this guy, come on.....
So, time flies by and they break up(february 2006 I think). I see this and I get all tingly. So, I try to hang out with her more and more but then I notice something: oh snippity snippity snap, I'm in her friend zone! Nooooooo! Realizing that I had no chance to hint at my feelings while she still saw me as just a good friend, I made maybe a stupid mistake, maybe my only choice, depends on your view - I decided to kiss her sometime soon. I simply decided to place thise delicate business on one tiny possibility, I went all in with absolutely the shittiest cards in my hands. And Halleluja, there was a dance night just around the corner, so I invited her to come with me and a couple of friends. Ok, so the evening passes by and I finally get the chance to dance with her alone. I bite my whole fear down, say my last amen and do this dance move which all the tango dancers love - legs far apart and pulling the girl behind, almost laying her on the floor while still holding her. So I try to kiss her, and of course, the expected response happens - she denies me the kiss. Whoop-ti-woo Dukey-boy, you failed.
We leave the club and on the next morning I wake up and realize how this tiny event changed things: she saw me as a friend, I tried to kiss her -> I shocked her and she doesn't know what I was doing. For bonus points, the next day we would have religion classes together and without resolving the matter, shit would be super awkward, so I decided to lay out my feelings on monday.
Ok, it was raining, perfect weather for a 99% guaranteed denial, but I still go through with it: I explain her how long I liked, nay, loved her, how much, how deep, how difficult it was when she was with the other guy and how I really want to be with her. Of course, that was an even bigger shock for her than my attempted kiss, because she probably thought that I was drunk or something. I was a friend all the time and now BAM, in 2 days she gets to understand that I loved her. Of course she doesn't have any feelings towards me at this moment because she simply didn't even have the chance to consider me as a boyfriend. So me, holding back the tears(believe me, I never had such a chaos in the heart and in my mind, so it was hard), is telling her that we'll try to be friends.
Intermission - Her personality:
Now here is where her personality shines through. She is a very intelligent girl. She's kind of innocent and naive at some points, which makes her freaking adorable and sweet. And I don't mean innocent and naive in the sense of "Oh, I think the storch brings the babies". Furthermore, she's kind of short, and I dunno why but I find short girls in generally to be even more adorable and sweet. So ok, her personality. She didn't just brush me off like some bitch would, she lovingly explained to me that she doesn't have feelings for me but she hopes that we can be friends, and if it would be too hard to continue being friends with her she would understand if I wouldn't want to ever see her again. Now that is a fucking strong character trait, if I might tell you.
I continue with my story.
So, monday and tuesday were hell for me. Begin extroverted, almost the whole 12 class was wondering why the hell I was so blue, had to constantly fight back the tears, actually. Then I resolved the matter with myself on Wednesday. Dunno how, I just kind of made an inner monologue and came to a conclusion. And thus the flower idea was born.
fast forward to today: after she noticed the flowers, she phoned me and we had a small conversation which started something like this "Hi [ne]!" "Oh hi [her]! How are feeling?"(of course I knew she noticed the flowers) then she laughs and tells that I think I should know how she feels. Anyway, I had the biggest adrenaline and endemorphine rush since I can think as I heard that her voice was, even just slightly, trembling. She said that I must be suffering and that we could cut the contact if I wanted to, to which I said "No, it would be even bigger hell if I wouldn't see you anymore. I feel already happy when I know you feel happy because of me". Well, after some chit chat which brought me nowhere, I now have a starving heart: I starve for her.
So, flame me, call me an idiot, a dreamer, a wisher, a fool or whatever, I simply don't want to back off - this girl simply fascinates me too much for me to just dismiss it as a mere teen love. So, if anybody can draw some sense from all this madman's talk, feel free, nay, feel ENCOURAGED to give me advice, because hell yeah, I need some
tl;dr: I fell in love, she loved another, I waited, she broke up, I tried to kiss her, she denied, I told her my feelings, she showed a great personality in the way she denied my feelings, i was angsty, i came over it, i planted flowers, she was moved, i feel motivated to move on, need some tips
Closing note: This thread will be obvious flamebait and I don't expect there to be none, just please, at least give 1 relevant answer per 10 trolls.
So anyway, seeing as I am a big coward about feelings and can hardly hint at them, let alone speak 'em out, I tried to become kind of friends with her. She got together with a guy from the same religion class whom she knew for quite some while(november 2004). So, I buried my feelings deep inside and tried not to interfere, after all, she was happy with him, so who am I to break a good relationship down? He was a really boring guy actually, witty sometimes, but overall a borefest. Hell, I'm no Dave Chappelle, but this guy, come on.....
So, time flies by and they break up(february 2006 I think). I see this and I get all tingly. So, I try to hang out with her more and more but then I notice something: oh snippity snippity snap, I'm in her friend zone! Nooooooo! Realizing that I had no chance to hint at my feelings while she still saw me as just a good friend, I made maybe a stupid mistake, maybe my only choice, depends on your view - I decided to kiss her sometime soon. I simply decided to place thise delicate business on one tiny possibility, I went all in with absolutely the shittiest cards in my hands. And Halleluja, there was a dance night just around the corner, so I invited her to come with me and a couple of friends. Ok, so the evening passes by and I finally get the chance to dance with her alone. I bite my whole fear down, say my last amen and do this dance move which all the tango dancers love - legs far apart and pulling the girl behind, almost laying her on the floor while still holding her. So I try to kiss her, and of course, the expected response happens - she denies me the kiss. Whoop-ti-woo Dukey-boy, you failed.
We leave the club and on the next morning I wake up and realize how this tiny event changed things: she saw me as a friend, I tried to kiss her -> I shocked her and she doesn't know what I was doing. For bonus points, the next day we would have religion classes together and without resolving the matter, shit would be super awkward, so I decided to lay out my feelings on monday.
Ok, it was raining, perfect weather for a 99% guaranteed denial, but I still go through with it: I explain her how long I liked, nay, loved her, how much, how deep, how difficult it was when she was with the other guy and how I really want to be with her. Of course, that was an even bigger shock for her than my attempted kiss, because she probably thought that I was drunk or something. I was a friend all the time and now BAM, in 2 days she gets to understand that I loved her. Of course she doesn't have any feelings towards me at this moment because she simply didn't even have the chance to consider me as a boyfriend. So me, holding back the tears(believe me, I never had such a chaos in the heart and in my mind, so it was hard), is telling her that we'll try to be friends.
Intermission - Her personality:
Now here is where her personality shines through. She is a very intelligent girl. She's kind of innocent and naive at some points, which makes her freaking adorable and sweet. And I don't mean innocent and naive in the sense of "Oh, I think the storch brings the babies". Furthermore, she's kind of short, and I dunno why but I find short girls in generally to be even more adorable and sweet. So ok, her personality. She didn't just brush me off like some bitch would, she lovingly explained to me that she doesn't have feelings for me but she hopes that we can be friends, and if it would be too hard to continue being friends with her she would understand if I wouldn't want to ever see her again. Now that is a fucking strong character trait, if I might tell you.
I continue with my story.
So, monday and tuesday were hell for me. Begin extroverted, almost the whole 12 class was wondering why the hell I was so blue, had to constantly fight back the tears, actually. Then I resolved the matter with myself on Wednesday. Dunno how, I just kind of made an inner monologue and came to a conclusion. And thus the flower idea was born.
fast forward to today: after she noticed the flowers, she phoned me and we had a small conversation which started something like this "Hi [ne]!" "Oh hi [her]! How are feeling?"(of course I knew she noticed the flowers) then she laughs and tells that I think I should know how she feels. Anyway, I had the biggest adrenaline and endemorphine rush since I can think as I heard that her voice was, even just slightly, trembling. She said that I must be suffering and that we could cut the contact if I wanted to, to which I said "No, it would be even bigger hell if I wouldn't see you anymore. I feel already happy when I know you feel happy because of me". Well, after some chit chat which brought me nowhere, I now have a starving heart: I starve for her.
So, flame me, call me an idiot, a dreamer, a wisher, a fool or whatever, I simply don't want to back off - this girl simply fascinates me too much for me to just dismiss it as a mere teen love. So, if anybody can draw some sense from all this madman's talk, feel free, nay, feel ENCOURAGED to give me advice, because hell yeah, I need some
tl;dr: I fell in love, she loved another, I waited, she broke up, I tried to kiss her, she denied, I told her my feelings, she showed a great personality in the way she denied my feelings, i was angsty, i came over it, i planted flowers, she was moved, i feel motivated to move on, need some tips
Closing note: This thread will be obvious flamebait and I don't expect there to be none, just please, at least give 1 relevant answer per 10 trolls.