How do I get a girl to like me?

So I have some how come to the conclusion that nobody likes me ( and I know everyone is just gonna say dumb stuff to this). None of the girls I know don't realy know who I am nor what I do. So I can't get a girl friend. Cultre doesn't help either. I Listen to psychobilly dammet! So I don't know many people who would care to be my girlfriend. I need help please!

Step 1. Find girl
STep 2. Make her your friend
Step 3. Ignore her when she talks about other guys
Step 4. Bring up the subject of "I dig you XP" casually
Step 5. If she laughs, you are open to hit on her RELENTLESSLY
Step 6. Touch her in a place or way that makes her feel uncomfortable.
Step 7. Ask her out. If rejected, play it off as a joke with a good "DAMMIT ALL, SO CLOSE!"
Step 8. Make sure to use the term "skank bitches" whenevr you are referencing womankind.
Step 9. Reapeat step 6. ALOT.
Step 10. ...skip a few
Step 12. Have your way with her.
Step 13. Dump her for her incredibly slutty younger sister.
REPAT