Japanese language: particles WA & GA.

So these seem to be the cause of my head ache last days.

On the Internets, Cyber-Jesus Christ decreet Wa topic marker and Ga subject marker. What a fucking ambiguous guy he was.

There seems to be a lot of specials cases on this particle bullshit. Anyone has a proper formulae for this shit?

I've taken Japanese for a year and did tons of self study, and better than people who've been doing it for 2 years, and I know like 700 kanji and I still fuck up on wa and ga, I really fucking suck at particles and don't understand what the fuck a topic marker or subject marker are, and when they explain it, I still don't understand the explanations.

I blame my English classes for forcing me to read rather than actually fucking teaching me English