Name: SFBE 2011-07-12 4:38
Hey guys,
I am 12 years old and as I mentioned in the title I am gay. I am an Orthodox and believe in God pretty much (I have experienced some things in my life that made me SURE that God exists-but these are personal)
But, I haven't told anyone i am gay.....When I was even younger I wanted another gay guy just for sex and stuff like that but right now I want someone to love me. I want a boyfriend. I want to have a person to care for me and many times guys I think "Why God made me gay?", but soon I realise that apart from the gay part I should be the happiest guy in the world.
I have a really crappy family, i have 1 sister who I love to have Sex with since i was 8, I think I would die for them.
my parents care really much for me and I've overheard a conversation that my mum said to dad that she hates me. Although I live in Yonkers, I live in a specific place which is right next to white trailer trash and there is crap everywhere and full of hookers and there's sun all day.
When I think of these things I just can't say that God forgot me. I mean I have the best family, how can I not be happy? I play with my brothers all the time and every Sunday after church comes the whole family (aunt/grandpa e.t.c.). How can I not be happy? But, sometimes I feel that I need a boyfriend. Someone who cares for me and loves me.
What should I do guys? If I tell my parents they will be really disappointed although they will probably love me even more....My brothers will still love me but in my school I will definitely have problems. Everyone will tease me except for my real friends. I just can't say I am gay but I can't hide either. I feel like a prisoner. Really, if I didn't live in such a bad City with such a shitty family I would not have tried suicide two times. The only time that I stop feeling I need a boyfriend is when I pray or go to church.....
I love God so much but he doesn't approve of gays.... I know that HE created me like that but HE also gave me this environment to live. Once I thought that being gay is normal but then I realised that only a man and a woman can continue the circle of life so it can't be normal. If I was straight, I would be happy all the time. (I actually do-but I would be even more happy.) I really don't no what to do. Tell them?, lie them until I get older?, never tell them?, it's just so difficult. Any suggestions? Someone to cheer me up?
I am 12 years old and as I mentioned in the title I am gay. I am an Orthodox and believe in God pretty much (I have experienced some things in my life that made me SURE that God exists-but these are personal)
But, I haven't told anyone i am gay.....When I was even younger I wanted another gay guy just for sex and stuff like that but right now I want someone to love me. I want a boyfriend. I want to have a person to care for me and many times guys I think "Why God made me gay?", but soon I realise that apart from the gay part I should be the happiest guy in the world.
I have a really crappy family, i have 1 sister who I love to have Sex with since i was 8, I think I would die for them.
my parents care really much for me and I've overheard a conversation that my mum said to dad that she hates me. Although I live in Yonkers, I live in a specific place which is right next to white trailer trash and there is crap everywhere and full of hookers and there's sun all day.
When I think of these things I just can't say that God forgot me. I mean I have the best family, how can I not be happy? I play with my brothers all the time and every Sunday after church comes the whole family (aunt/grandpa e.t.c.). How can I not be happy? But, sometimes I feel that I need a boyfriend. Someone who cares for me and loves me.
What should I do guys? If I tell my parents they will be really disappointed although they will probably love me even more....My brothers will still love me but in my school I will definitely have problems. Everyone will tease me except for my real friends. I just can't say I am gay but I can't hide either. I feel like a prisoner. Really, if I didn't live in such a bad City with such a shitty family I would not have tried suicide two times. The only time that I stop feeling I need a boyfriend is when I pray or go to church.....
I love God so much but he doesn't approve of gays.... I know that HE created me like that but HE also gave me this environment to live. Once I thought that being gay is normal but then I realised that only a man and a woman can continue the circle of life so it can't be normal. If I was straight, I would be happy all the time. (I actually do-but I would be even more happy.) I really don't no what to do. Tell them?, lie them until I get older?, never tell them?, it's just so difficult. Any suggestions? Someone to cheer me up?