Minecraft sucks

I got Minecraft (Alpha) yesterday. I played for a few hours. I made a castle, a dungeon, and a house. I realized that's pretty much what the entire game was. It's like Legos, but slower and you can kill stuff. If you're thinking about getting it, the free version is almost exactly the same. The weapons/enemies don't really add anything to the game. Don't waste 9.95 Euros on it.

>>560
You play Minecraft. You can't possibly have a job.

1.8 is out soon... So yeah. That will kick ass just like your faggot tit farts

>>562
"Kick ass" HOW?
How will sparkles "kick anyones ass"?
Do you know how to use that expression properly?
1.8 looks like an IMPROVED version, but as long as Minecraft is still for furfags and children, and Curse is still running the community much like Gaddafi did Libya, it will never "kick anyones ass".

>>561
Touche mah nigga, touche.

Killing a single Enderman will give you two diamonds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuJZTGAu5yQ
TWO DIAMONDS.

Do you know how long it takes you to find diamonds LEGIT in Minecraft version 1.7? (That is: No hacks, no Fag Mode, no squandering of blocks, wooden tools, and no mining shafts - just spelunking caverns, digging out dirt and gravel, and stone if there was water or monester noises.) I've been playing for over 6 months and have found about FIVE diamonds, which I haven't even mined yet.
Now 1.8 comes along, and you can literally gain diamonds by a leisurely stroll in the countryside now (and about ten mouseclicks at a mob). I bet that by version 1.9 magical fairies will THROW them at you.
This game just STOPPED being rewarding.

It's official: With version 1.8 the manly "Survival Mode" (the very reason why old-school players bought Minecraft in the first place) will be completely replaced by the faggy "Adventure Mode", where feminine castrates can go on faggy adventures.

I should be able to back-up all my version 1.7 Minecraft files, and continue playing in what's left of the SURVIVAL GAME that I bought, but somehow I now WISH that I wouldn't get these updates crammed into my game "for free".

Here's an example: If you went to the store to buy an alpha version of milk, and on your way home Notch comes along, opens the package and pours water into your carton until it's only water left, then you'll understand Minecraft. Beta milk isn't water, and I sure as hell didn't buy a childrens fag game.

The brightness... ...has a SLIDER.
http://www.minecraftforum.net/news/199-pax-18-game-features/
I fear the worst: That lightsources and spawnrates are made even less of a definite obstacle.

It's one thing to come up to you and say
"Hi. My name is Minecraft and I'm gay. Want to have gay sex with me? Yes? No?"
and another to say
"Hi. My name is Minecraft. Do you feel my hand on your thigh there? Well what if it gently slides towars your prostate, huh? Just tell me what's comfortable to you, and we'll go on from there, okay?".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_jJJTROkJ0
Check out 1:11.
"Biome improvements", you say? Notch has written the code for terrain generation for like two years now. How hard can it be to attach a mountain top to a chunk of ground?

"There's clearer transitions between biomes now." In other words: All the gradual transitions that Notch implemented in 1.7, is now broken.

According to Minecraft, cobwebs create pockets in reality where everything moves at 15% speed. This means that if you fall into such a slowmotion pocket, you will slow down, and then speed up again once you leave it, STILL TAKING FALLING DAMAMGE WHEN YOU HIT GROUND. Why can't you fix basic things, Mojang? Why must you always hastily implement new stupid stuff to nuture your chosen idiot fanbase, when you can instead fix the already existing elements?

For anyone of you who doubt that Minecraft is swarming with Curse-grown aspergites, please explain what the fuck this is:
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Mods/Planes

Honestly, I disagree with people who say minecraft sucks. Personally, I think it was worth every penny that I paid for it... but ofcourse, I didn't pay a fucking thing, and I never will.

It's a fun game, but no matter how many features Notch pulls out of his ass or ripps off from the modding community, it will never be worth more than $5. But since Notch seems to enjoy overpricing this shit so much, I will very much enjoy pirating 1.8 and paying him FUCKING NOTHING.

>>569
It's not fully implemented yet, douchebag! YOU try to code a game!

>>572
I see. So halfway to making cobweb slow down movement speed and falling speed, is making cobweb a temporal pocket. If the whole Minecraft engine turns out to be running on temporal relativity instead of plain velocity, this might have made sense. It's not hard to code velocity or velocity modifiers at all, so the cobweb thing is marvelously bizarre.

Even to this very day, the psychotic Minecraft fans are STILL struggling with if Herobrine is real or not.
When did you stop believing in Santa? When you were five? That kind of gives you an idea of the mental age and retardation of todays Minecraft players.
Thanks, Curse!

"The beginning of the 2000 millenia saw a huge drop in IQ levels, resulting in a new dark age, where gibbering idiots played games like Minecraft, hanging out with magical fairies and rainbows, instead of developing their brains by facing any sort of challenges. Before this type of electronical cannabis was outlawed in 2050, it destroyed the brains of most of humanity."
- Future Dictionary

Remember this old viral video that started Minecrafts popularity?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnjSWPxJxNs
Seeing this guy burning his house down gave you hope that Minecraft would finally be a game that would shelter you from idiots, and that would chemo them away in this very fashion, didn't I?

Well, let's see how fire works in todays Minecraft.
Fire spreads through "Wood, Logs, Leaves, Wool, and Bookcase blocks".
That's it.
That means that it won't burn wooden chests, wooden stairs, wooden slabs, fences, or anything like that. Unless you build your house out of wood, you're 100% safe. Any furry can put a chest in the middle of a LAVA lake and its contained belongings will be perfectly safe.

But what about TNT then? TNT is a pretty unstable explosive. If I brought real-life TNT anywhere NEAR lava, I'd be the very DEFINITION of "Fucked".
Well, TNT can actually be detonated by lava. ...if you leave it in the midst of a lava lake for a couple of MINUTES. If you hit the TNT until it breaks during this time, it will simply be swallowed up by the lava lake, and everything will be fine and dandy.

>>572
 give me the 5 million bucks Notch got from minecraft and I will. I'm not even a programer, but even I know how to make spiderwebs stop fall damage. Use a variable to track fall height, and reset it to 0 when players touch a spider web, and set it up to only increase when players aren't touching spiderwebs. When player hits ground, deal damage accordingly.
Or, like >>573 said, do it all with velocity.

Minecraft isnt a shitty game, Notch is just a shitty developer. It's even more embarrassing when you consider that he's not even doing this alone, there's a whole team of developer who are sucking at developing minecraft.

>>577
Any type of physics done well, is done with velocity. My mind is blown by Minecraft actually measuring falling distance.

>>576
If there's any cancer chemotherapy, it isn't affecting 12 year olds from making LPs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBI4Yw9LjBw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu9P1zhy_cI

This is what happens when you ban child-rape, people! They grow up like weeds!

Do you play Minecraft wrong - checklist:

- Do you play Creative Mode?
- Do you use hacks? (Especially TooManyItems.)
- Do you play on Peaceful Mode (even to "turn monsters off for a second")?
- Do you abuse the CPU measuring tool to locate caves or spawners, or any kind of glitches?
- Do you love Herobrine?

If you said no to ALL of these questions, then congratulations: You are not a fucking retard, and thus worthy of living.

- Do you piss around with aspergite (redstone)?
- Do you use diamond tools for anything but mining obsidian?
- Do you strip-mine, or dig mineshafts?

If you said no to ALL of these questions, then you are attracted to the opposite sex and worthy of respect.

Derp my herp this place is full of pure retardation

Derp my herp this place is full of pure retardation

Derp my herp this place is full of pure retardation

>>508 I wish people could keep their opinions to themselves
If you hat minecraft, fine, but don't go having a massive shitfit about it on forums.
TO ALL TROLLS:
1. If you want to call me a fag or gay, I'm straight and have a girlfriend so cannot suck your tool, be sure to visit a gay porn site if you feel some urges
2. If you want to say I'm a nerd or a 12-13 year old I'm 17 and only play minecraft every so often
3. If you call me a retarded/autistic person, I do not have any mental difficulties, but thank you for your concern

All in all you can come up with your pathetic insults trying to make me feel bad about something in my life, and go ahead but remember that I'm the one who is right.

Keep your opinions to yourself.

OMGWTFHAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I LOVE MINECRAFT SO EAT SHIT NUMBER 508 LAWL FUCK U BUT HOO WOULD EVER FUK U U AIDS PIRAT

Diamonds are just a placeholder for what endermen will drop! Fuck, I'm turning into trollbait! I'm out.

>>584-585
Sudden hate towards 4chan admins ( >>508 )?

>>586
Placeholder? Says who? Says some random Curse wiki editor loon. 1.8 will contain diamond dropping Endermen and players will hunt it like an elephant. So much for "scary mob".

And now Trollers are trolling and so everybody is trolling.


DUDES send a e-mail or PM to notch if you think his game is stupid or gay.

>>587 Its not hate, its the truth

>>589
"Dear Notch

Here's a suggestion from a fan: Don't listen to what retarded fans suggest.

Also, your entire fanbase has turned gay. You should have Curse ban them as well, and while you're at it, fire Curse too - they're faggots.

You also need a pair of balls, preferably hairy. Are you sure Ez is female? You should check, because I have seen The Crying Game.

Signed
The Only Fan Who Still Believes In You"

Minecraft developer Jeb has ESTIMATED Minecraft 1.8 to be released on September 8th.

As long as you aren't connected to the internet, you can still play Minecraft in "Offline Mode", safe from this update.
However, just in case that you forget to disable your internet connection before playing, it's best to backup all your Minecraft files BEFORE September 8th (and I don't mean September 7th).

Besides copying the obvious main Minecraft folder, there's also a more elusive folder called ".minecraft". Its location will vary depending on your OS. In Windows 7 it is located in your AppData folder. (Reached through the %APPDATA% variable, typically set to "C:\Users\<UserName>\AppData\Roaming"(\.minecraft\).)
The .minecraft folder will also contain your saves\ folder, containing your save files, so these will be backed up with your 1.7 backup as well.

When your players are bragging about NOT cheating, you have a problem with your game attracting the wrong type of fans.

...but it's even worse than that. Search for "Let's Play Minecraft Legit" at YouTube, and try to find an LPer that actually knows what "legit" MEANS. I even found a guy using TooManyItems to throw diamonds around the place, while talking about how diamond tools were "legit starting equipment".

"Rare Candy can be used by Pokemon if u have the Mod it cannot be Crafted yet also it can be used on all Pokemon it Auto Levels your Pokemon 1 Level Per Rare Candy u Give it it is maybe able to be found in Dungeons so you Cheat to get this Item really soon will be Able to craft but first u need a Pokemon to be able to use the Rare Candy or else why did u craft huh why? or why u cheat it if u don't have the Pokemon Mod huh huh? also known Pokemon are: Charamander,Bulbassar,Caterpie and Squirtle ( well Pokemon I know lol)"
- Rare Candy entry - Minecraft Wiki

I remember back in the early versions when you could hunt for coal for a whole day without getting it, making you spend your first night encapsuled in dirt (after they removed the starting house). This was fair, because IRL coal and iron veins are very rare to find.

Now you find both coal and iron whereever you go. You trip over the stuff, finding 1-2 additional veins in the course of just digging out the stuff. Notch must have made the stuff at least four times as common, just so his new too-stupid-to-live fans can survive and have their precious minecart rides. Soon he'll probably make icecream grow on trees.

>>569
Speaking of things left poorly implemented: Beds.
Beds are themselves something that only fags use in order to avoid getting killed by mobs, but Beds still has something like 23 bugs related to it.

On a funny note:
Notch did make sure that you can't just place a bed in the middle of the wilderness without a monster waking you up and eating you, but as this is punishing retarded behavior - a concept that has become quite alien to Minecraft and its new Curse-derp community - this is something that has really confused the players, and thus monsters occationally spawning next to your bed has been referred to as a random BUG for two months now. I've watched LPers place beds in the middle of nowhere, and then thinking it's "bad luck" when "nightmares" repeatedly kill them.

Would my future kids not know the concept of a safe place to sleep, I would give them a sleeping bag and tell them to go hiking anywhere they like, and if they don't survive the night, nothing of value would be lost. I'd just make more kids until one of them survives this basic test.

A while back, before he was turned gay by the underage Curse-fan invasion, Notch wanted to implement "Hardcore Mode" or "Realistic Mode". This mode would of course be absolute chemo for the Curse-fans, who are still struggling with anything above Peaceful Mode. In fact, a third of the Difficulty entry on the Curse wiki, is dedicated to explain when it's safe to TURN OFF Peaceful Mode: At daytime, when the furfag is safely within a pre-constructed base, miles away from any possibilities of hostile mobs spawning. We are still talking about mobs that will go away if you wave a wooden sword at them a couple of times. I hope the furfags all starve to death with the new hunger system, because they're too stupid to eat food.

>>597
"Wave a wooden word at them", you say? You overestimate these faggots. They literally have to have a MANUAL for these things:

http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Minecraft_Wiki:Projects/Minecraft_Defense_Manual

These maggots must be drawn to Minecraft because every other game has beaten the shit out of them and peed on their corpses. A part of me actually felt sorry for these failures up until the point where I was banned from their forums for "being a rapist". I take it that normal people are that scary for the Curse people.

So let me get this straight:
This game is about ultimately mining gold and diamonds,
so that you can make maglev rails and out of the gold
and fit the diamonds into diamond pickaxes and bash them against the rocks,
all because gold and diamonds have no purpose otherwise,
but then you have a whole system for dyeing wool and baking cakes, and making needless circuitry
that also serves no purpose,
but that's apparently okay, because those are NOT precious?

I think Notch's wife Ez has something to do with all this faulty logic, as well as adult players systematically being accused of raping the precious children over at the forums. After all, Ez is a moderator at those forums. The ghost of Yoko Ono stirs again. (No, it's not a bloody Touhou character.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGaqEadEwU4