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Age of Conan sucks (long)

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 7:05

Ripped from the beta forums:

I got my invite on 11/27. Here are my impressions in a general (but not quite) chronological order.

Day 1
* Holy crap, 7 gigs to download? This better be good!

Day 2
* 24 hours later - holy crap, 12 gigs installed? This better be good!

* Start a character, I'm on a really ugly looking beach. I tune things a little bit via the in-game gui but stay out of the debug tab. Now it's running at 1280x res and things are a little less fugly, but I wouldn't call it pretty. Nearly any first or third person game in the last 5 years looks better than this - maybe more than that, I think UT99 looked better.

* Run into a lot of walls on my way to Tortage. Between boundary walls, an overwhelming darkness, and pirates that seem to pop out of nowhere (probably because of the darkness), this is 30 minutes of no-fun. But, I get to the end, slay the slaver, and enter the town.

* Loading times are horrible. This took over 5 minutes to load Tortage. Then, there was a lot of stuttering as I got attacked by pirates. I managed to somehow evade them while stuttering and thankfully a higher level player drew them off of me. No idea where I'm going, again, not very fun. I finally stumble on Tortage itself and enter the inn.

* Loadings times are horrible. I experience three in a row - Inn, Nighttime, Tortage. This has to go. Not only does it take forever to load, but there's a lot of stuttering afterward.

* Night time looks just like daytime. I think it might actually be brighter as I can see where I'm going now. WTF? Where's the night?

* I stumble around and eventually log off. I don't remember where I was but it was still in nighttime.

Day 3
* Um. I'm floating in the ocean. I don't show up on the map. I'm so far out that I can't see any land. This sucks.

* 20 minutes later I find land. I'm waaaaaaaaaaay SW of Tortage. I managed to find the beach you crash land on at the start, but at night it is surrounded by invisible walls. I can't even make it out of the beach and back into the ocean, apparently you can come in but can't leave.

* After another 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to change the chat channel (Why does it show [Vicinity] in the chat title but show responses in Global in that window? Very confusing), someone mentions to another player how to get combos on their hotbar. I can't find the combos, but I found Heart of Acheron. After another 2 or 3 minutes of loading, I can finally move again!

* After spending an hour just trying to get somewhere where I show up on the map, I'm almost too damn tired to actually play. I make it through a few quests to listen to arias and quesado or something. Quesado's quest is lame. The marker for "Get on the roof" is NOT where you can get on the roof. It's where you need to be afterward. This is really stupid as you CAN get onto the roof from the second level of that building by jumping on the crate then over to the roof. However, you have to go up the ladder or the quest won't move on. Put the marker at the ladder if that's where you need to go.

* I make it up to the volcano to begin a quest there. This is after dying in the swamp by Arias a few times. Since the minimap doesn't have a lot of details, even when you zoom in, and the entrance is actually behind the marsh, I ran into the marsh looking for it. You take environmental damage there. No idea why, never did figure it out, but it's a lot and you don't last long. After the 2nd or 3rd death, I finally found the other path that goes to the side of the marsh and wraps around. That took way too long.

* By following the Destiny Quest progression, I am now level 7 at the Volcano. These guys are between level 10 and 15. After dying a few times, I log out. This is NOT fun. At least the resurrect loading screens are quick!

Day 4
* Loading times and FPS seem to be working much smoother today. Loading screens are as short as 30 seconds (although most are still near 60s) and my FPS is mostly higher, 24-30. Stuttering is gone...until I give up on the volcano quest (someone in chat says I should be at least level 11) and go back to daytime Tortage.

* Daytime Tortage blows. Lots of stuttering. 5-10 seconds with no screen updates - no disk thrashing, my computer isn't on fire, just nothing happens. Getting around is a pain. Finding stuff is a pain. I complete a few quests and log off.

=============================================
Thoughts:

* Combat is tedious. There is no skill in pressing buttons in the proper order. There is only tedium. I'd rather have one-button-press combos than this system. I'm willing to do the multiple button presses if there's actual skill involved, like parrying an enemy's attack or actual aiming, but not in the current state.

* Character progression - When you enter the city you're told to go see Tina. Then she tells you do some stuff that sets you on a quest progression. If you follow this progression, you're woefully under-levelled by the time you get to the Volcano. The game punishes you for doing what you're told and following a logical path. It's also very aggravating when you're repeating with new characters - you don't want to fetch four fish for the beggar when all you want to do is get OUT of Tortage! Make the destiny quest progression smoother, auto-levelling with the player, or force the character back to daytime quests before allowing them to continue past what their level allows.

* Moving around is tedious. The minimap has very little detail to it and there appears to be no way to adjust it to be larger or show more, just zoom levels. I have a few quests where I have no idea how to get to the actual endpoints, I can only get close, where close means there's a cliff or wall or something in my way and I don't see any way around it. Between this and the constant stuttering, it's horrible.

* Talking to NPCs. I can highlight an NPC and there is a talk icon that shows in the bottom right. If I click on it, nothing happens - I don't talk and I don't move toward the NPC. I strongly feel that there should be *some* command or key-sequence that moves you toward the NPCs you've highlighted. Same thing with enemies, you can click on one and see their status but you can't move toward them to attack. If you could click on the ground near them to move, that would be fine. Using WASD the entire time to move is horrible.

* Keybindings. Regular keybindings I use are WASD and 1-3 (left side), then pipe (right side), then X (left side). There is a auto-run but that's num-lock (far right, better to take my right hand off the mouse to hit it). U (right side) is the use/climb button. Ctrl is a meta character to make things like Tab for targeting work, but when you hit it, your character movement stops. Not only should we be able to rebind keys, but the defaults require too much movement across the keyboard.

* Graphics - as many have said, the placeholder graphics are shared between a lot of entities. Also, when you talk to people, they do not turn to look at you if you stand behind them, and they often do weird animations, like the female dance, while telling you something important. Very disconcerting. Obviously there are tons of improvements yet to be made, but are these things even on the roadmap? Hard to tell.

* UI - A lot of pieces of the UI are missing keyboard shortcuts (Quest screen, I'm looking at you). Others have mentioned the inconsistent use of Escape. A lot of other details are not there yet (I have no Feats points, but I don't see where it says "0 Feats Points"). The UI as a whole is huge and obtrusive, instead of being overlays that can be moved around and resized, it's panels that narrow your view. Make the views into overlays, so I can look at my quests and still have access to the minimap or my inventory.

* Beta situation and direction. I could be missing out on some of this info, so please correct me if I'm wrong. This is a General Beta. It plays like a Technical Beta. Low FPS, stuttering, can't click on dialog options, minimap disappears, warped around after relogging in, tons of item database entries are missing and take forever to load, loading screens take forever. These aren't insurmountable problems, but I also have not seen any sort of roadmap, i.e. "These things are completed, these things are targeted soon, and these things are on the future development tree." Right now, when you stumble on a bug, you don't know if that feature has even been implemented, whether it's on the roadmap, if it's a new bug, or if that's how it's supposed to work and the supporting text just needs updated. The developers say to fill out a bug report for all the bugs. Without some direction, almost the entire game looks like one big bug - graphics, gamma, database entries, combat issues, loading screens, where do you stop? This Beta needs some serious direction posted someplace prominent and hopefully viewable from within the game as well.

* Overall performance issues. On Wednesday, I was excited to get into the Beta. Now, on Saturday morning, I'm not even willing to log in again for a few days. I've got a house to clean, a yard to rake, Christmas shopping to do, I have to spend some time with my wife, there's football on the TV, I've got some home projects to work on, and the last thing I can afford to do is spend 10 minutes trying to log in and load a new zone just to spend another 10 minutes trying to figure out where I'm going and not die during the stuttering. The technical performance issues are hampering my ability to contribute, both from a time stance and an "I don't care to deal with it" stance. Focus on making the game playable, then I'll be willing to spend some time helping to find bugs.

Name: max 2008-07-09 21:14

AGE of conan! more like age of i suck balls


age of conans fighting system is like playing guitar hero on expert, and the grahpics make my comp run like it has to take a shit

my ps3 < age of fag


the only single redeeming quality is the tits. You can wack off to the big juicy breast of your characters. I play a chick and let the pirates kill me so i can watch her lifeless body groan virtually.

mmmmmmhmmmmmm!

Name: Anonymous 2008-07-12 11:47

>>81

Sold!

Name: Anonymous 2008-07-13 0:53

I just bought this game from bestbuy... spent about 6 hours installing it...  Man, it sucks ass.  I mean, really.  It must be the worst game I played in... well, ever.  Admittedly, I only spent about half an hour playing it, but it's long enough to know that:

1) I'm not having fun, nor will I ever.

2) The engine sucks.

3) The graphics are subpar for a game in 2008.  It would have been considered "good" in 2000.

4) The engine's performance is horrible for what I'm seeing on the screen. 

5) The combat system isn't fun or challenging.  It's boring because it's repetitive.

The game is an epic failure.  Nothing can save it, honestly.  What were they thinking?  Who the hell is going to play this crap?

Name: Anonymous 2008-07-15 11:46

AGE OF CONAN BLOWS SO MUCH DICK ITS NOT EVEN A COMPLETED GAME WOW I HATE FUNCOM WTF

Name: Anonymous 2008-07-17 16:03

WoW sucks badddddddddddddddd
but this piece of shit game is even fucking worse
i want my money back fucking funcom fagss

Name: Anonymous 2008-07-20 3:08

I want a refund rhis is one stupid game

Name: Anonymous 2008-07-20 3:11

conan sucks I would rather hang myself then play this stupid ass game

Name: Anonymous 2008-07-20 3:13

ya well I would rather push bamboo shoots under my finger nails than play it

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-01 2:23

I don't know how I managed to level my Assassin to 56. I guess I figured the game will get better every level. This game is pure garbage guys. Questing and leveling in this game is pretty much like doing forced community service. PvP just makes you a target for gankers few levels above you; who wait for you to walk 20 minutes across the fucking map only to kill you so you can make that same walk again. I think Tabula Rasa was way more fun ...

Name: ThatOminous 2008-08-03 4:23

Once upon a time in a land far far away...
















THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS AND THE PVP IS FUCKING TERRIBLE I KNOW THEY TRIED TO DO SOMETHING NEW BUT FUCKING MAN IT FEELS LIKE IM PLAYING A FUCKED UP VERSION OF MORTAL TEKKEN FIGHTER 4 AND ON TOP OF THAT CLASSES ARE FUCKING HELL OF UNBALANCED TO THE POINT IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY AND ITEMS IN THE GAME SUCK AND LOOK ALL THE SAME THIS FUCKING GAME SUCKS DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY WITH THIS I PLAY ON A ACCOUNT MY FRIEND GOT FOR HIMSELF HE PLAYED IT FOR TWO DAYS THEN QUIT AND GAVE IT TO ME AFTER THAT I PLAYED AND WAS LIKE OK THIS WILL GET BETTER AS I LEVEL AND IT DIDN'T SO FUCK FUNCOM FUCK EDIOS (ONLY DECENT GAME THEY MADE WAS TOMB RAIDER WHICH FUCKING IS WHACK NOW) FUCK ANYONE SAYING THIS GAME IS GOOD BECAUSE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THIS SHIT SUCKS!

The End.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-03 4:54

only blind retards cant tell the game suck, took 1 look at the combat animation and decided it looks fucking retarded from the gecko it looks like they took motion capture from IRL D&D fag fest

anyways thats it

Name: fuxxin 2008-08-21 1:45

fucking gecko, you dickhead, its 'GET GO'

fucking kids

Name: Allen the Fagbot 2008-08-28 11:58

Hi, im Allen and I like penis in my ass, thats why I enjoy AoC.

Name: jimmy walker 2008-08-28 14:45

I have to say this game is fucking boring as shit, i played for about 3-4 months and ive tried to get into it , honestly i have, but ive realised that im just kidding myself, its terrible , dont buy it, o and it dosnt help that the GMs in game are the worst of any mmo ive played

Name: rthth 2008-08-29 21:13

Suck my balls

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-30 2:12

boku-tachi wa gaymers, right /v/?

Name: faggot sam 2008-08-31 1:42

You gotta be shitting me, I want my money back as well as my time. The PvP and combat system sucked balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd rather burn my money next time, at least then I'd know I didn't gave my money to incompetent FUCKFACES!

Name: AGEOFSHIT 2008-09-04 6:14

If you went to the store and bought this game congratulations, you just got your ass mugged

Name: heysuo1lol 2008-09-07 8:59

EUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Name: Anonymous 2008-09-13 16:46

Has to bump such a 1337 thread

Name: hyborian homo 2008-09-15 1:55

aoc is not a game game...... i wish it was!!!! their are plenty of breasts.... but where are the dicks!!!!! i want dick sweety fuckin dick dripn nutt!!!! i have emailed funcom several times, and they promise a dick patch in 08 thank u!!!

Name: hyborian homo 2008-09-15 1:58

i would also like tranny character creation.... big tits, and a huge black penis (that i can use in melee)...... aoc has good features, but not for gay people..... my clan is deep in my ass (deepinmyass) no spaces... plz join

Name: Anonymous 2008-09-23 23:40

and so many believed that it would be the wow killer

Name: Anonymous 2008-09-24 0:17

>>106
stop advertising fucking wristwatches

Name: Anonymous 2008-09-24 22:51

they should make a 3rd/1stPS mmo, using giant zones that require little load time (like in WoW) with complete control as if you were playing one of those jedi knight games

Name: ano 2008-10-11 18:57

FAIL

Name: Anonymous 2008-11-15 22:41

Couldnt agree more, AoC is FAIL.

Name: Erik Janikowski 2008-11-26 22:38

This is a true WoW killer! When I saw the preview movies I said "WOW!". However after playing the game the wow was gone. Looks like a bunch of chimps designed it.

Name: Anonymous 2008-11-27 12:50

>>1
        ∧_∧   / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
          ( ´∀`) < <U SUCK LONG COCKS
        /    |    \________
       /       .|     
       / "⌒ヽ |.イ |
   __ |   .ノ | || |__
  .    ノく__つ∪∪   \
   _((_________\
    ̄ ̄ヽつ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ | | ̄
   ___________| |
    ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄| |

Name: Machu 2009-01-09 16:07

I read this entire forum, and i have to say, it has to be the best time of my life.

Thanks for the lifes. Much Love.

Name: Vulbor 2009-02-01 20:05

This forum made me laugh so hard I cried, I think I'll go buy the game just so I can quit and come back here and complain about it.

Name: psyx 2009-02-12 7:33

I newer sen so many lossers in my life.
What do u know a bout games at all? :D this game is shit, i newer played it lol wtf.? its fail it dos not give milk from tits wtf ? this game so mutch sucked i fall in watter lol u was in beta noob.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-14 5:47

>>19
yeah and look how long they have been working on it, and god damn have you seen any game play vids? that shit sucks just give up already.

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