Food you have had sex with

Well....one day with a pice of hot bread. I made a hole and....well you know the rest.

I fucked a your mom burger

wtf? what ever happened to just felating bananas and carrots? or, if you felt adventurous, a cucumber or zuchini?

Well im not gay ..... so what should I try now? a wedding cake?

Cucumbers, Mars Bars (Maryanne Faithful/Mic Jagger), bagels, but it was pretty tight.... Mmmm  Tight.  Cum, it's protean

lol

protean lol

put a grapefruit in a microwave.

#8>>  I tried that last night.  Oh man that felt AWESOME!  Just remember to put a condom on first..  The pulp gets places... 

I had sex with a chicken breast in a jar

shrunken female head.

I had rough sex with a box of nails once, but that's not really a food, is it... I'M STERILE!

#12...  You're not sterile because of that it's because god hates you and dosn't want you to spread.

I did a banana peel once.  Took forever to get all of the bits out of my pubes.

i fucked a cow once, someone else probably ate it later

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-re!!  =p 

I fucked a chicken once.  It didn't make it. 

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NIGGER HORSE PLAGUE
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a bag of grass clippings.

Yogurt.

Birthday cake I made for a friend.

A sausage mcmuffin.

I just ate 2 pizzas, thats close, right?

I jizzed in my rootbeer once.  It didn't taste so bad.

i got fucked by a carrot

Well, I have a story for you.

Where I work, I make bread.  At one point in our process, you put 10 oz. doughs through a sheeter that basically just flattens them and rolls them a bit.

If I distract myself enough and lay my hand at the end of the conveyor belt, it seriously feels like a guy is putting his dick into my hand.

Needless to say, the sheeting process could take a lot less time than I make it take.

Also, once I form the pizza dough into rounds, they feel like breasts. :D  We have sizes that weight 6 oz., 14 oz., 1 lb. 1 oz., and 1 lb. 10 oz.  It really gives you a variety of different dough-boob shapes, depending on what you feel like grabbing on that particular morning.

However, I'm really jealous of guys.  If I was a guy and had a big lump of warm dough in front of me...I'd fuck it. o_o  Guys are so lucky.  Girls are stuck finding some object shaped like a penis, which really limits our possibilities.  For guys, as long as it's soft, warm, and preferably moist, they can go at it.

I love to cook zebra in a fish broth with a little bit of chiken blood...but in soup it miss something can someone please give me ingrediant that I could add to my soup??

Does a vending machine count?

Dose Moots' penis covered in Chocolate count?

I once covered my penis in melted chocolate and fapped.

raw liver and onions

Count Fuckula cereal and Whooreberry