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I was a professional chef

Name: Mr. Food 2006-09-08 22:43

Until I blew my knees out, I cooked for a living. I have won many awards and contests. I love food!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-08 23:53

>>1
It can be difficult to tell sometimes if a lobster is actually DOA (Dead On Arrival), or just sluggish after the long trip from Boston. One good test is to touch the lobster’s eye and watch for movement (gross, but true). If there are no signs of life, don’t give up yet! You may have heard otherwise, but we know that a lobster does not have to be alive at the moment you are cooking it in order to still be good. It is more a matter of the temperature at which the lobster has been kept, and the length of time that has passed, that determines whether it is still good. So how are you to know what to do?

As with all great things, your Lobster Gram meal will eventually come to an end. If you're looking for one last morsel, break off the legs and suck out the meat. After this, sadly, there is no more lobster. Remember, someone thought enough of you to send you a Lobster Gram. Why not be a Lobster Gram giver next time? Or better yet, order one for yourself!!

PROTIP: Keep in mind that when you need a place to toss your lobster shells and any other kind of seafood remnant, your cooler makes a convenient place to "neatly re-pack" them for disposal. Unless of course, your were planning to use the cooler for your next summer-time picnic. Either way, don't forget to recycle your cooler and box!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-09 0:12

>>2
fuck off

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-09 8:08

Until I blew my balls out, I fapped for a living. I have won many awards and contests. I love fapping!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-10 23:47

>>4
Har har har. You must be a USC grad.

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-11 16:40

[aa]                   ∧_∧   / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
            ( ´∀`) <  Emma Nilsdotter is really the voice of britney spears!
          /    |    \________
         /       .|     
         / "⌒ヽ |.イ |
     __ |   .ノ | || |__
    .    ノく__つ∪∪   \
     _((_________\
      ̄ ̄ヽつ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ | | ̄

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-11 21:32

>>5
nope, i'm german AND seriously drunk right now
rwth aachen fo life boitchaes!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-11 23:09

>>7
Germans are always drunk. They are wonderful people! And ALL German women have great tits!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-11 23:46

>>7
So do Germans really get really drunk during the week and rest during the weekend?  That shit is weird.

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-12 6:38

>>9
jep, we're pretty much drunk all the time

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