Interweb

Dial-up
Slower than usual.
Nope, haven't downloaded anythin new lately.
Nope, not opened any suspicious e-mails.
Nope, dont have somethin downloadin.
Nope, havent been an idiot.

This has been happenin for a few days.

Goblins chewing on your cables.

How about you offer assistance, or GTFO?
NO U