There's no video output for my porn ;_;

HALP, ANONOMOUSES!

I've waited all day to download my porn!
Please recommend a comprehensive codec collection (the best, if there's a consensus).
that will enable me to play every video I download from now on.

vlc

If you're too stupid to check Google/Wikipedia, just use VLC (videolan.org).

www.free-codecs.com

FddShow

FFdShow, rather

linux, mplayer, mplayer-codecs