I'm finally sick of Windows.

I've decided that Microsoft wants to win the award for "Biggest Asshole" and i'd like to try another OS. I haven't had much experience with other OSs so please help me to decide which one is the best. I just want something that is incredibly capable and versatile that doesn't take me forever to figure out. Please help a noob.

Slackware is awesome. It Doesn't Suck (TM), unlike most other distros.

But it's not for a beginner. Stay far away.