I'm finally sick of Windows.

I've decided that Microsoft wants to win the award for "Biggest Asshole" and i'd like to try another OS. I haven't had much experience with other OSs so please help me to decide which one is the best. I just want something that is incredibly capable and versatile that doesn't take me forever to figure out. Please help a noob.

man i think i just did a big mistake removing winXP and installing zenwalk... it seems to be based on slackware...
 IM CONFUSED! I CANT EVEN INSTALL NVIDIA VIDEO DRIVERS PROPERLY!
ohemgee. Apparently this was more than i could handle....