Stephen King

Top 10 names for Stephen King's penis, 2013 edition:
9. The Green Mile
8. The Dark Half
7. Thinner
6. Christine
5. The Crimson King
4. Tommyknocker
3. The Stand: The Complete & Uncut Edition
2. IT
1. The Dark Tower
0. The Dead Zone

Honorable mention: The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

You didn't turn in a research article: You submitted a large, awkward assemblage of sentences. It was like you kidnapped them in the dead of night and forced them onto pages against their will at gun-point. Each sentence interacted uncomfortably like a group of people at a bar with no alcohol anywhere. This isn't a article, it's a loud hostage situation done by a unarmed midget.

You might ask, how did he get them at gun-point if he was unarmed?

Let's just say that he's a tri-pod.

Is there a male version of the Bechdel test? 
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Arthur Dent almost passed that test but then a Random nuisance ruined his life forever as a retired knee-biting sandwich-maker. The damage was so severe to the universe that the author spontaneously dropped dead and ratings went to zero causing the entire universe to be cancelled. Other authors tried to pick up the fragments but it only led to the mentally ill main characters to turning to a life of drugs where pretty birds would lose the illusion battery before peak-oil could actually become a thing. Instead, all we have left to show for it is: a crippled Kindle, a fish-bowl and Cricket bats.

vanfucker