Wizard Wannabe

hello my name is harry potter, i'm a precocious youth who manages to regularly trounce wizards with far more skill, experience and emotional maturity than myself. I have only token respect for the rules, which is OK because all of my so-called authority figures regularly bend, break or simply forget about the laws in order to accomodate my latest adventure. Which is good because whatever odd occurance or random event is happening in the area, it always directly relates to me and my past. Always.

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nbvvbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Hello, I'm the main character of a children's book.

HELLO MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER, PRECOCIOUS YOUTH AND SUAVE SPELL-SLINGER. WHILE STUDYING AT HOGWARTS I HAVE MANAGED TO VIOLATE THE VELVETY VULVAE OF EVERY FUCKABLE FEMALE THERE WITH MY POTENT PHOENIX-FEATHERED WANG-WAND OF WONDER. SO FAR THE ONLY WOMAN TO ESCAPE THE DEPREDATIONS OF MY DEATH-DEFYING DIRK DIGGLER  WAS THE PRUDISH PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL... UNTIL NOW. I SURPRISED HER AS SHE LEFT HER CLASS OF CHILDLIKE CUNT-CARRIAGES AND WITHOUT A WORD RIPPED MY RED-CAPPED REAR-RAPER FROM THE CONFINES OF MY TIGHT TROUSERS. INTENT ON EVADING THE ECSTASY SO IMMINENT BEFORE HER THE MENOPAUSING MAGUS CHANTED A CANTRIP AND SHIFTED SHAPE. LAUGHING AT HER FUTILE ATTEMPT AT FOILING MY FUCK-FORGING FLESH-PILLAR, I SHOUTED, "A CAT IS FINE TOO!" AND PLUNGED MY PENILE PILLAR OF POTENCY INTO THE PUSSY. SHE ONLY HAD TIME TO BEGIN TO YOWL BEFORE THE EXPLOSION OF MAGICAL MAN-ESSENCE FROM MY MEATY MAYPOLE TORE ASUNDER THE CONFINES OF HER CAT CARCASS AND SPLATTERED HER REMAINS ALL OVER HOGWARTS.

THEY ARE STILL LOOKING FOR HER HAT. I GUARANTEE IT.

>>5
hahaha, oh wow
a winrar is you

>>5
Fucking CRUSHING VICLORY!

lols

>>1
Quoting OOTS.
Sad.

OH LAWD

i'm clueless

>>1
Elite skill: Cull crusher
Elite skill: Avatar of twat features
Elite skill: Meteor brix shitter
Elite skill: Soliloquy of homoerotic autoasphyxiating emo sage for five year old wanabee poseur magicians
Elite location: Fuckwads school of fuckery and shittery
Elite wand: Heterosexual erotic female repelling weapon of indenial misery(bonus: 20% chance to get malfoy or snape into bed with you!)