I am an anti-war infiltrator

My original goal was to do things to discredit the anti-war movement. I was going to assault police officers, break windows, burn the flag, and not bathe. But then I got the anti-war protest and found out they were doing all of that on their own. Then I said 'fuck it' and went home to watch Pawn Stars.

I am >>1's left buttock. I must present apologies on behalf of my owner, for I have, by failing to adequately cooperate with my partner (the right buttock), pemitted him to shit himself. The smell is not >>1's fault; it's merely that his ass opened itself up and let rip.