Official UPDATED and nearing COMPREHENSIVE Cool Jew Power Rankings
1. Beastie Boys
2. Jesus
3. Hebrew Hammer- the fictitious character and Ryan Braun
4. Matisyahu
5. Michelle Trachtenberg
6. Boris Volynov - First jewish cosmonaut
7. The guy from fiddler on the roof
8. Sammy Davis Jr.
9. Alison Brie
10. Helen Keller for chilling in that attic
11. Mel Brooks
12. Larry David
13. Jason Alexander
14. Bar Rafaeli
15. The Fonz
16. Harrison Ford - He is a quarter jewish, not too shabby
17. Natalie Portman
18. The Bear Jew
19. Aesop Rock
20. Amare Stoudemire
21. Mila Kunis
22. Bill Nye The Science Guy
23. Jeff Goldblum
24. Bill Goldberg
25. Mel Blanc
26. Scarlett Johansson
44. Leonard Nimoy
45. Ben Stiller
46. Isla Fisher
47. poster
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48. Emmy Rossum
49. Sandy Koufax
50. Audrey Hepburn
51. Ron Jeremy
52. Einstein
53. Matt Stone
54. Brooke Burke
55. Regina Spektor
56. Moses
57. The 3 Stooges
90. Robert Oppenheimer
91. Alyson Hannigan
92. Lenny Kravitz
93. Kenny vs. Spenny
94. Woody Allen
95. Joey Ramone
96. Krusty the Clown
97. Isaac Asimov - the shitty adaptation of I,Robot wasnt his fault
98. Kyle Broflovski
99. Jon Stewart
100. Jerry Seinfield
101. Kelly Kelly - WWE girl with obviously fake tits AKA mr.metaphor mr.metaphor
102. Lewis Black
103. Amanda Bynes
104. Sasha Baron Cohen
105. Howard Stern
106. Naomi's ass
494.Naomi
495.Moshe Dayan - has a fucking eye patch. that is cool.
496.Norman Finklestein
497.Rod Carew - because OJ Simpson isnt one.
498.Bobby "King" Fischer "9000" - for being a chess grandwizard.
499.Rodney Dangerfield - inb4 no respect
500.Eli Wiesel - for writing the most badass story you were every forced to read in high school
501.Jack Black
502.the guy from numb3rs, i guess.
503.MC Paul Barman - after listening to him more he gets kind of soul grating
998. Ben Stein - bitches be wantin his money.
999. Stu Pickles wife
1000. Adam Sandler
1001. Oskar - "You keep da money" from hey arnold
1002. Ari Gold - I have never seen entourage. entouragefags can convince me of higher/lower placement
1003. Jewlius Ceaser
1004. Mike "i have never listened to dreamtheater, but i am sure he is good at spamming Bass kicks and Cymbals" Portnoy
1005. Tom Cruise's agent
8888. Ike Davis
8889. the guy that invented 4chan
8999. Niels Bohr for inventing a stupid model for molecules that is inferior to other models
9000. the ones that killed jesus
9001. Rob Schneider
9002. Kyle Broflovski's mom
9003. anyone with the last name Goldstein
9004. anyone else with the last name Finklestein
9005. The IRS
9006. Sarah Silverman
9007. Bernie Madoff
9008. David Stern
9009. Bettman
900LOLIMSOCLEVERFORSAYINGADOLFHITLER1. Adolf Hitler