Name: VIPPER 2009-12-31 20:08
The most embarassing moment in my life was in eighth grade science class. We were studying physics and the teacher asked the class for examples of an object that was very dense. I saw an opportunity to crack a joke, but he headed it off by adding, "...and not the name of someone in the room." Crud.
So a few students raised their hands and presented non-joke examples of actual dense objects. Then our teacher proposed that someone give an example of an object that wasn't dense. The wheels of wit started turning in my head. If someone else in the room is very dense, and we want an object that isn't dense, then... I can invert the joke and say myself.
I raised my hand. The teacher called on me. I realized the joke was stupid and didn't work. I realized I had already started saying it. I stuttered, then finished. "M... m... me?"
Oh, how I wanted to be swallowed by the earth. I was clearly the dumbest person in the room at this moment. Boasting facetiously about my intellect might have been one thing, but telling a room full of my peers that I'm "not dense"? It reeks of something only a mentally challenged individual would do.
There was an awkward silence. For a second or two. Then our teacher said, "Uh... anyone else?"
I couldn't redeem myself after that, so I stayed silent for the rest of the class -- maybe the rest of the year -- and prayed everyone was too asleep to remember later what a fool I'd made of myself.
The worst part is that nobody who was in the room ever commented on the event. They must have just understood I was fucking retarded and that it was better they not give me trouble about it.
So a few students raised their hands and presented non-joke examples of actual dense objects. Then our teacher proposed that someone give an example of an object that wasn't dense. The wheels of wit started turning in my head. If someone else in the room is very dense, and we want an object that isn't dense, then... I can invert the joke and say myself.
I raised my hand. The teacher called on me. I realized the joke was stupid and didn't work. I realized I had already started saying it. I stuttered, then finished. "M... m... me?"
Oh, how I wanted to be swallowed by the earth. I was clearly the dumbest person in the room at this moment. Boasting facetiously about my intellect might have been one thing, but telling a room full of my peers that I'm "not dense"? It reeks of something only a mentally challenged individual would do.
There was an awkward silence. For a second or two. Then our teacher said, "Uh... anyone else?"
I couldn't redeem myself after that, so I stayed silent for the rest of the class -- maybe the rest of the year -- and prayed everyone was too asleep to remember later what a fool I'd made of myself.
The worst part is that nobody who was in the room ever commented on the event. They must have just understood I was fucking retarded and that it was better they not give me trouble about it.