A year ago the world was mad at me, and I was mad at it, because I coudln't express my emotions. I was totally focused on keeping emotional pain well away from any part of myself that could feel it.
All this sounds like some stupid teen angst post, about how 'no one understands the real me', I don't think that's true. I think that almost everyone has done what I'm doing now - lay in bed, kept awake by feelings of fear or confusion, and looked for a way to reach out and express the feelings inside. I think all we want to do is reach out and really feel like someone is listening, actually understanding what we feel. The hardest thing to do is work all the feeling out all alone. This is where I failed.
For me, the emotions felt overwhemling and unexpressable. They wern't. I went through two periods of drinking at least 3 times a week, and at least once a week heavily. I got into fights. I took risks. I put myself in a hospital. I've even done things that I still can't talk about.
Long and painful story short, my life found me the next morning hugging my knees on the cold floor of the common room, by the refridgerator. All the bad feelings I had been hiding from the past 5 years caught up to me. I was so afriad that I felt I had only 2 options: run as far away as you can, or end the pain. I actually started to pack to leave. My friends got me help. I've been in therapy for 4 months now.
Name:
VIPPER2006-02-28 18:57
COMMADORE PERRY DOES NOT CARE.
Name:
VIPPER2006-02-28 18:58
Precedents
Perry's expedition to Japan was preceded by several naval expeditions by American ships:
* From 1797 to 1809, several American ships traded in Nagasaki under the Dutch flag, upon the request of the Dutch who were not able to send their own ships because of their conflict against Britain during the Napoleonic Wars.
* In 1837, an American businessman in Canton, named Charles W. King saw an opportunity to open trade by trying to return to Japan three Japanese sailors (among them, Otokichi) who had been shipwrecked a few years before on the coast of Oregon. He went to Uraga Channel with Morrison, an unarmed American merchant ship. The ship was fired upon several times, and finally sailed back unsuccessfully.
* In 1846, Commander James Biddle, sent by the United States Government to open trade, anchored in Tokyo Bay with two ships, including one warship armed with 72 cannons, but his demands for a trade agreement remained unsuccessful.
* In 1848, Captain James Glynn sailed to Nagasaki, leading at last to the first successful negotiation by an American with "Closed Country" Japan. James Glynn recommended to the United States Congress that negotiations to open Japan should be backed up by a demonstration of force, thus paving the way to Perry's expedition.
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First visit, 1852-1853
Japanese 1854 print relating Perry's visit.
Enlarge
Japanese 1854 print relating Perry's visit.
In 1852, Perry embarked from Norfolk, Virginia for Japan, in command of a squadron in search of a Japanese trade treaty. Aboard a black-hulled steam frigate, he ported Mississippi, Plymouth, Saratoga, and Susquehanna at Uraga Harbor near Edo (modern Tokyo) on July 8, 1853, and was met by representatives of the Tokugawa Shogunate who told him to proceed to Nagasaki, where there was limited trade with the Netherlands and which was the only Japanese port open to foreigners at that time (see Sakoku). Perry refused to leave and demanded permission to present a letter from President Millard Fillmore, threatening force if he was denied. Japan had for centuries shunned modern technology, and the Japanese military forces could not resist Perry's modern weaponry; the "black ships" would then become, in Japan, a symbol of threatening Western technology and colonialism.
The Japanese government had to accept Perry's coming ashore if it was to avoid a naval bombardment. Perry proceeded ashore at Kurihama, (near modern-day Yokosuka) on July 14, presented the letter to delegates present and left for the Chinese coast, promising to return for a reply.
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Second visit, 1854
Commodore Perry's fleet for his second visit to Japan in 1854.
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Commodore Perry's fleet for his second visit to Japan in 1854.
Perry returned in February, 1854 with twice as many ships, finding that the delegates had prepared a treaty embodying virtually all the demands in Fillmore's letter. Perry signed the Convention of Kanagawa on March 31, 1854 and departed, mistakenly believing the agreement had been made with imperial representatives.
On his way to Japan, Perry anchored off of Keelung in Formosa, known today as Taiwan, for ten days. Perry and crew members landed on Formosa and investigated the potential of mining the coal deposits in that area. He emphasized in his reports that Formosa provided a convenient, mid-way trade location. The island was also very defensible. It could serve as a base for exploration in a similar way that Cuba had done for the Spanish in the Americas. Occupying Formosa could help the US counter European monopolization of the major trade routes. The United States government failed to respond to Perry's proposal to claim sovereignty over Formosa.
WE REQUIRE MORE VESPENE GAS.
Name:
VIPPER2006-02-28 18:58 (sage)
MOTHERFUCKIN WHITE FLEET DAWGS ALL UP IN YOUR GRILLZ NIGGAZ
Name:
VIPPER2006-02-28 19:00
HWELLZ YEAH. THEN ROOSEVELT WILL BE LIKE SUP NIGGAZ, LIKE MY NAZY, LOL YAY FOR JINGOISM.
Name:
VIPPER2006-02-28 19:00
FUCK LET'S PLAY SOME BASEBALL
Name:
VIPPER2006-03-28 11:49
Former Filipino sex slaves, known as “comfort women” during the Japanese occupation of the Philippines in World War II, protest in front of the Japanese Embassy in Manila.