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HI, I'M WILLIAM T. RIKER, COMMANDER AND NUMBER ONE OF THE USS ENTERPRISE. I JUST SPENT THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES RUBBING SOME TERRIBLY TEMPTING TWEENS UNDEVELOPED TITS. WHILE I USUALLY HAVE TO STAVE OFF THE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS AND FBI WITH QUICK SWIPES OF MY PULSATING PINK PHASER THERE ARE SOME SITUATIONS IN WHICH MY ACTIONS ARE DEEMED ACCEPTABLE. FOR EXAMPLE WHEN THE LITTLE LUSCIOUS LOLI IN QUESTION HAS A HACKING COUGH AND MY SISTER IS TOO BUSY RIDING MY RAVISHINGLY RIGID ROMULAN TO RUB HER HERSELF. SO I PROCEEDED TO RUB AN OINTMENT ALL OVER HER PALATABLE PECTORAL PROTRUSIONS WHILST SHE HAD MULTIPLE LOLIGASMS BEFORE FALLING SOUND ASLEEP. I FINISHED TAKING MY SISTER PAST WARP 10 ON MY TURGID TESTICULAR TORPEDO SHIP BEFORE YOU COULD SAY "THRESHOLD". COUNSELOR TROI AND I HAVE NOW ADOPTED THE YOUNG GIRL AND OUR CRIES OF PASSION CAN BE HEARD ALL AROUND THE GALAXY. I GUARANTEE IT.

My little sister is 14 years old, and I have not seen her for over 7 years. I got kicked out of the house when I was 16 (for you math wizards out there that makes me 23) because my mother is a twat. Well just recently my little sister found me over the internet and has been chatting with me on AIM. Alarmingly she has slowly started to hit on me after 3 months of useless general chatting. I showed my wife the logs because it was of some concern. My wife too agreed that she was flirting with me and that I should becareful of what I now said around her. Now here is the main problem /b/ she just hopped on AIM this morning and flat out told me she masterbated whilst thinking about me. I quickly closed the chat and logged off AIM and now she is texting my phone asking where I went and that she wanted to talk. Some of you may not see this as a problem and will throw the usual "stick it in her pooper" "bix nood" maybe a few "copypasta" or a smathering of "surprise buttsecks" but this is a real problem for me. I don't need a little sister in this world getting fucked in the head because she has some sort of crush on her older brother. Please /b/ I am in need of your infinite wisdom and efforts!
PS. Pic unrelated... Maybe?