Last Night...

Last night while you were out
I broke in to your house
The first thing I did was remove my pants
I started rubbing my balls all over your things
That's when I saw your cat
It instantly locked on to my balls with it's claws
After a long fight I managed to remove the cat
After that I decided it was time to go
But, in the chaos of rushing out I left something behind...
If you see my left testicle, if you find please return it...

 ~ Some Weirdo

Last night I was playing Halo 2 and some 10 year old kid kept calling me nigger so I practiced sticking plasma grenades to him until he disconnected.