Maybe I'm spoiled with Moffats great episodes, where the intrigue is clever and solid, but Steve Thompsons The Curse of the Black Spot made me question why I was watching Doctor Who at all (so naturally I come to 4chan to whine, because I know that you all care very much). It was clear that it was a filler episode even before Wikipedia confirmed it (as it was previous scheduled as the ninth episode, but later easily moved) but very sloppily(?) done.
There was nothing wrong with the basic premise, but the line is crossed when the Doctor "invents" that parallell universes can be linked through reflective surfaces. I'm not a nerd boy expecting everything to be canon, but this was handwaving a solution: "X can be a portal to alien spaceships sometimes."
The Doctor previously mentioned that the myth about sirens was persistent for a valid reason, so this implies that derelict spaceships ROUTINELY seeks out ships at sea with reflective surfaces to project their holographic medical AIs through. The alternative is that... ...the ships somehow crashed into eachother for some reason? ...and the boy infected them with typhoid fever? This is never explained, and yet this is most likely an obvious filler that will never be referred back to or explained further.
...but all these insane things doesn't compare to the finale, where they find Rory strapped to a medical table, because he's been kept alive so that he doesn't drown. His condition is easy to cure: His lungs are filled with water. I can understand that the ship doesn't know how to cure him, but the Doctor is known for his TREMENDOUS skills with alien computers, so this is where he should point his sonic screwdriver to the ships medical bank and explain to it that fluid doesn't belong in human lungs. Alternatively they could manually resusitate his heart and lungs while he's being kept alive.
Instead we have yet another cliché lifesaving scene where Rory magically gets better once Amy has stopped breaking his ribs, all because the series wants to explain to the viewers that she loves him and that he matters. It's so cliché and horribly contrived that what this scene does, is making Rory into an annoying burden.
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Anonymous2011-10-20 10:50
DOCTOR WHO - THE MOVIE (1996)
Not FIVE minutes into this movie, it completely abandons all hope when the Masters DEAD REMAINS crack open a solid metal chest and pour into the core of the Tardis. What the fuck?!
As he steps out of his Tardis, the Doctor is shot with one submachine gun spray, and somehow manages to take one bullet in his shoulder and two in his leg. The hospital then kill him in some weird opera operating scene. While the Master has turned into a bodypossessing jelly snake, the Doctor punches himself through a solid steel door and emerges as a shrouded Jesus. He has suffered temporary amnesia (allowing him some time to mess about with and befriend a woman), and somehow he still has a torn off hospital artery probe left inside one of his hearts. The Master takes chase, being some kind of creepy T-1000 clone (Terminator 2 was released five years earlier and was awesome and very popular), but when taking off his glasses, it is revealed that he is actually Satan. He is intended to track the Doctor down for having "stolen his body". When the Master opens some kind of power source "Eye of Harmony", the Doctor has a mystic premonition, and then he kisses the slutty woman he's with. The Master is literally referred to as "the devil" and "pure evil", and the whole plan relies on some mumbo-jumbo about the Eye of Harmony being able to suck up Earth. (There apparently WAS an Eye of Harmony back on Gallifrey, but it's not the same one.) Then romantic complications happen, and Doctor Who has to deal with a hysterical woman. He proves that the Earth is in danger by showing that all glass on Earth is now gooey and can now be walked through. Mass is apparently also losing density by one pound a minute, and the weather system is also collapsing. Apparently Earth is going to be sucked up into the Eye of Harmony by dissolving it in a pure concentration of Fuck, because my mind is full of fuck right now. I'm giving this movie ten more minutes none-the-less.
Boring fucking car chase, but I guess it's mandatory for the decade. "Great! I finally meet a nice guy, and he's from another planet." finally sums up the whole romantic plot of this movie, and a dozen other movies being typical for that decade as well. I bet these movies were some kind of desperate nerd-chick date movie attempts.
Overall this movie is making me hate american movies: Romance and "thrills" has eaten all reason and intelligence in Doctor Who. Did you know, that the Tardis is whirling around through time and space with a secret hollow out above the "P" in "Police Box", that contains a spare key? There's no lid on the hole at all, but this isn't necessary, because americans don't think further than spare keys being in holes on top of regular doors. My brain is now full of a special kind of fuck called "stupid AMERICAN fuck", and I'm done with this movie. There have been lots of american movies far more horrible than this one, but it's still not worth my time. There's just no plot to it: We have a magical macguffin that needs to go in a magical place, or magical things will happen. It's the plot of EVERY american movie, and nothing is scientificly explained at all.
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Anonymous2011-10-20 23:54
>>521
You stopped watching at just the right time. What happens after that point on will suck your will to live. America, fuck no!
>>523
American bastardisations doesn't make a whole tv series suck, and you know it.
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Anonymous2011-12-27 1:00
THE DOCTOR, THE WIDOW AND THE WARDROBE
Doctor Who christmas stories have always had some forgivable elements of corniness to them, so with the latest episodes being directed at children, I prepared for nothing short of a christmas calendar episode. I got that, and worse.
We begin the episode by introducing Doctor Who as basically James Bond, as we see him steal a space suit in freefall, and then crashing into the ground. He survives, of course, because the space suit is futuristic and self repairing. Apparently the suit is built from a flexible heat shield that makes teflon look like cardboard, and can regrow a timelord out of his bionic jelly, or the story is possibly just written by someone with the intellect of a ten year old. At this point I had this inner vision of Moffat giving me the finger, going: "Just so we're clear: Fuck you!"
From there Matt Smiths Doctor acts like a whimsy moron for childish giggles. Apparently he can't even open an ordinary door without unhinging it first, but can still "repair" the house chairs so that they make a "dance routine". The big "Doctor WHO?" reveal next season, will apparently be that Doctor Who is Peter Pan.
What makes this episode worse than all other episodes, is that everybody in it is acting like idiots. Military personel are disarming themselves over crying mothers, and mothers go "Oh, shiny!" when giant golems try to place glowing devices on their heads. It's a complete lobotomy, but the big reveal at the end is in a league of its own: The supposed children watching this are told that "the base code of nature" classifies men ask weak, and women as strong, because "how else does life ever travel" but from mother to mother? One word: Semen. There were officially four adult men and one adult woman at the helm of the production of this episode, and not one of them could figure out what gender is fertilizing what gender.
Then yet another finale follows where some banal emotion is tearjerked and worshipped. This time a widow is piloting a ship by overcoming her loss of her husband. It sounds like a really bad joke made under the influence, but no, this is what Doctor Who has become.
There was exactly one interesting thing in the entire episode: That Doctor Who was helpless inside a wooden building. That's it.
Well, I was coming here to possibly discuss the upcoming Christmas special and the new companion, but I do not believe that to be a good idea anymore...