Calculators

I'm looking for the ULTIMATE CALCULATOR. The features I'm looking for are (in no specific order):

- A large screen (B&W is fine)
- At least a couple of megs of storage
- A good and consistent user interface
- Built-in RPN support
- USB connectivity and multi-platform drivers
- A decent set of everyday programs (graphing, equation solving, unit conversion...)
- Programmability in a sane language

I currently have a TI-84 which fails in most of these areas, the exceptions being USB support and the bundled application set.

Any suggestions? Does anyone even make calculators like this?

You need a laptop

>>2
I have one, but it's sort of overkill for most things and nowhere near as portable as a calculator, even though it's a 12".

Laptop+Matlab+PyMat+Mathematica+PYML=Greates calculator evar!

A Psion 5 has everything you need.