God exists.

I'm god, so.. I guess I'll take a request to prove I exist.

ARGUMENT FROM CONSEQUENTIAL DIVINE JUSTICE
(1) If there is no God, then our lives are essentially worthless and meaningless.
(2) There would be no consequences of our actions other than the pleasure they bring us in the here and now.
(3) There would be no Divine Justice, and this is not acceptable.
(4) Only God could give us Divine Justice.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ST. ANSELM’S ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists in our understanding. This means that the concept of God resides as an idea in our minds.
(2) God is a possible being, and might exist in reality. He is possible because the concept of God does not bear internal contradictions.
(3) If something exists exclusively in our understanding and might have existed in reality then it might have been greater. This simply means that something that exists in reality is perfect (or great). Something that is only a concept in our minds could be greater by actually existing.
(4) Suppose (theoretically) that God only exists in our understanding and not in reality.
(5) If this were true, then it would be possible for God to be greater then he is (follows from premise #3).
(6) This would mean that God is a being in which a greater is possible.
(7) This is absurd because God, a being in which none greater is possible, is a being in which a greater is possible. Herein lies the contradiction.
(8) Thus it follows that it is false for God to only exist in our understanding.
(9) Hence God exists in reality as well as our understanding.
(10) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM
(1) The Fool asserts that God does not exist.
(2) What is called "God" is "a being than which no greater can be conceived."
(3) The Fool agrees that "a being than which no greater can be conceived" exists in the mind, since he understands the words.
(4) To say that "a being than which no greater can be conceived" does not exist is to say that such a being is only an idea -- it does not exist in the mind and in reality.
(5) But such a being, which exists in the mind alone, is in fact "a being than which a greater can be conceived" since it is greater to exist in both mind and reality than just mind alone.
(6) So, the Fool believes that "a being than which no greater can be conceived" is "a being than which a greater can be conceived" which is impossible.
(7) Therefore, since "a being than which no greater can be conceived" cannot exist in the mind alone (because that is self-contradictory) such a being must exist in both mind and reality.
(8) Therefore, God exists.