Dirty Old Joseph the Unix Hacker

DIS ONES FOR ALL DA RETOIDS IN ##c@irc.freenode.net AND ALL DA RETOIDS IN comp.lang.c.

Still using his mainframe, still hanging onto scraps.

Still reinventing libc for all of his apps.

The chortling, snorting, farting old coote

has been shitting on the Internet for longer than moot.

I would remove the signal shit
ITS NOT LIKE ITS ALL DAT USEFUL ANYWAY

the static buffer functions
WAT DA FUK R DEY?

non-thread safe functions
WELL DONT BLAME ME FOR strtok. DEY DIDNT LIKE DA ALTERNATIVE I PROPOSED COS IT DIDNT COMPLY WITH EXISTING CONVENTIONS.

just give to the user the option to define a n-bit type
I WUDNT GO DAT FAR. DATS 4 DAM SURE. I WUD REQUIRE DA IMPLEMENTATION 2 DEFINE AN UNSIGNED, 8-BIT UNPADDED TYPE, WHICH CUD BE WRITTEN TO BINARY-MAPPED STREAMS. DATS ALL U NEED TO PORTABLY REPRESENT ALL DA COMMONLY USED FLOATING POINT AND SIGNED INTEGER REPRESENTATIONS, ALONG WITH ALL DA DIFFERENT BYTE ORDERS USED 2 STORE DOSE REPRESENTATIONS. ASIDE FROM DAT, OBJECT REPRESENTATION CUD BE ENTIRELY UP TO DA IMPLEMENTATION. EITHER DA STANDARD C LIBRARY (OR ANOTHER LIBRARY) CUD DEN PROVIDE FUNCTIONS, WITH A PORTABLE IMPLEMENTATION, DAT READS AND WRITES TO COMMON FORMATS 4 EASE OF USE.

unsigned char WORKS FOR DIS PURPOSE ANYWAY. ONLY DIRTY OLD JOSEPH DA UNIX HACKER USES SHIT FOR WHICH CHAR_BIT AINT 8.

ANOTHER MAIN PROBLEM, DAT TIES INTO DIS, IS DA SHITTY <stdio.h> INTERFACE. ALL DAT FILE REPOSITIONING CRAP DOES MORE HARM THAN GOOD N SHUD BE REMOVED. SOMETHIN LIKE A "stream ready?" FUNCTION (SIMILAR TO DA char-ready? PROCEDURE IN SCHEME) OR A select() OPTION WUD HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA. SHUD BE WELL DEFINED ACCORDING TO BUFFERING OPTIONS, LIKE IF U HAVE LINE BUFFERING SET AND DA STREAM'S READY, U CAN READ AN ENTIRE FUCKING LINE (WITH A FUNCTION LIKE fgets) WITHOUT IT BLOCKING.


IF DERS ANYTHING I HATE ITS DA FUKIN LONG unsigned/signed TYPE NAMES. I LIKE DA WAY PLAN9 WENT ABOUT TYPEDEFING SHIT LIKE "unsigned long" AND "signed char" AS "ulong" AND "schar". EASIER 2 READ AND 2 TYPE.