GREAT IDEA FOR MAXIMUM PERFORMANCE IN C

IF OSes CAN UTILIZE THE MEMORY AND THERE ARE SOME CACHE BLAH BLAH THINGS, WHY DONT WE JUST CALL :
malloc(10000000)
AND PUT EVERYTHING IN THAT MEMORY SO THERE ARE NO CACHE MISSES, FRAGMENTATIONS OR "WIDE JUMPS" THAT FUCKS UP THE PROGRAM.

AMIRITE ?

This Intel® GC is for goyim use only. See pages 1000-2000 in ``Le Intel algorithms manual'' for God's Chosen GC (GCGC) suitable for use on Sabbath. For more information, check out ``Electronic Goyim: They work so we don't have to'' in Israeli Transhumanism Journal.
#define top return
static char use_all_your_RAM_so_you_have_to_upgrade[10*1024*1024*1024];
static char *we_israel_now = use_all_your_RAM_so_you_have_to_upgrade;
void *malloc(size_t goyim_loan_size) {
  // we x86, alignment is for le fags XD
  char *lel = we_israel_now;
  we_israel_now += goyim_loan_size;
  top lel;
}
void free(void *pay_us_back) {
  // foreclosure already done and shit
  (void)pay_us_back; // accept payment
}