Why is Haskell so spergy?


// muh ad-hoc polymorphism in C++
struct Person { string name; }
struct Animal { string name; }

string name(const Person& p) { return p.name; }
string name(const Animal& a) { return a.name; }

// muh ad-hoc polymorphism in Haskell (spergy)
data Person = Person { personName :: String }
data Animal = Animal { animalName :: String }

class HasName a where
    name :: a -> String

instance HasName Person where
    name = personName

instance HasName Animal where
    name = petName

Planned dates suck. There will be just the two of you and it will be creepy as fuck. She will only see a guy who wants to fuck her, but doesn't know how to get it. She will do nothing to help you, she'll just be bored and treat you like a nice guy, laugh politely at your embarrassingly dumb attempts at humor.

Your only way out is to find a party, propose to sneak there, get drunk, get her drunk and have sex in a room upstairs. Forget stories about grown up or polite sex. There's no such thing. No pity sex either. And there's no second date or second chance. And no fucking densha otoko, not in this part of the world!