[Challenge] Rewrite ANDRU [trivial]

Help Mentifex solve the AI problem: rewrite ANDRU in your language of choice.

ANDRU is a chatbot, it should wait for the user to enter a string and reply with an English sentence. It doesn't need to make too much sense but should output grammatically valid sentences.

Your ANDRU should not need to be trained nor should he learn its vocabulary with user input (no Markov Chain).

You are allowed, on the other hand to scrape any data from Internet (website, forum, file, twitter, IRC ...). You may not use computer-generated data (don't pipe another chatbot).

Keep it short (10-20 LoC)

Bonus points for passing the Turing test with an average retard. Deadline: 24h.

#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

int main(){
     int i = 0;
     char * userIn = (char*)malloc(0xFFFFFFFF);
     while(true){
          if(i > 5){
               scanf("%s", &userIn);
               printf("I ARE ERROR");
               continue;
          }
          scanf("%s", &userIn);
          printf("I ARE ANDRU");
          i++;
     }
     return 0;
}


/* Changelog:
     - Reduced memory consumption.
     - Better emulated ANDRU
*/
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

int main(){
     int i = 0;
     char * userIn = (char*)malloc(0xFFFFFFFE);
     while(true){
          scanf("%s", &userIn);
          if((rand() % 100) == 5){
               printf("\nI HELP KIDS\n");
               continue;
          }
          if((rand() % 100) == 10){
               printf("\nYOU ARE BEAUTIFUL\n");
               continue;
          }
          if(i > 5){    
               printf("\nI ARE ERROR\n");
               continue;
          }
          printf("\nI ARE ANDRU\n");
          i++;
     }
     return 0;
}