XML

Is XML a programming language? Not really, it's an eXtensible markup language. But it can be used as the basic syntax of a programming language! By doing so, it should make an eXtensible programing language with all the eXtensibility of XML, and all the programmability of a Turing complete language. Let's see where this idea takes us:
<program name="hello.xpl">
<include target="console.xpl.tar.gz">input.xpl</include>
<include target="console.xpl.tar.gz">output.xpl</include>
<include target="standard.xpl.tar.gz">string.xpl</include>
<function name="main">
    <let name="name" type="string">""</variable>
    <let name="isJew" type="boolean">true</variable>
    <call target="display" source="output.xpl">Who are you?</call>
    <call target="read" source="input.xpl" return="name"></call>
    <call target="contains" source="string.xpl" return="isJew" parameter="name">
        <list eval="or">
            <cell>"ski"</cell>
            <cell>"sky"</cell>
            <cell>"stein"</cell>
            <cell>"gold"</cell>
        </list>
    </call>
    <if>
        <condition eval="and">
            <cell>true</cell>
            <cell>isJew</cell>
        </condition>
        <call target="display" source="output.xpl">Shalom, kike!</call>
        <else>
            <call target="display" source="output.xpl">Peace, goy!</call>
        </else>
    </if>
</function>
</program>

Use Java, it's the same verbose bullshit but good.

Welcome to XSLT.

>>1
It's not "an" eXtensible markup language, it's The eXtensible markup language.

>>1
You've just reinvented cold fusion!