SICP in SCP-914

Input: One (1) copy of Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs.
Setting: Rough
Output: A notebook containing handwritten CS 101 notes.

Input: One (1) copy of Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs.
Setting: Coarse
Output: A stack of pages consisting of printed questions from Stack Exchange and Stack Overflow.

Input: One (1) copy of Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) copy of The C Programming Language.

Input: One (1) copy of Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs.
Setting: Fine
Output: A wizard hat. Test subjects wearing it instantly report a deep understanding of all programming concepts and languages.

Input: One (1) copy of Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: An android Gerald Jay Sussman in robe and wizard hat. Immediately after describing any computational task, he will write a complete, bug-free Scheme program to implement it.

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Meet me in the alley behind the Post Office.