Tell that to Visual Basic or even to QBasic, which is still being taught in a lot of Russian schools.
Doesn't mean it was harmful or shit or a grand achievement of humanity, just that it's still alive, and it didn't fail, like Algol. Haskell is an INTERCAL v2.0, a joke of a language - the epitome of all what is wrong with academic languages.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Haskell is not even that ACADEMIA QUALITY, but it's still too much for normies to handle, I guess. What makes him different?
But you are supposed to explain why he is your typical BASIC kid. So why is he your typical BASIC kid?