The day was 1969 and Ron Paul was writing his first app for The Whitehouse. "What do you mean the bank is out of money?," Obama shouted. "You'll be hearing from my lawyers." Obama slammed the telephone down and dropped into a grok squat. If he defecated here, he thought, he would be a sitting duck for fucking Putin.
Later that day when Obama was scrambling around his office for laxatives, Ron Paul barged into his office. "MY APP IS FULLY LOADED WITH TWENTY YEARS EXPERIENCE IN THE BEST OF THE BEST TRILLION DOLLAR PROGRAMMING IDIOMS AND TONICS," Ron Paul shouted. "AT THE END OF THE DAY, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY. MY APP'S BIGGER THAN THE MINDS OF EVERY IDEA GUY ON THE PLANET. IF YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF THIS APP, YOU JUST AREN'T THINKING BIG." Obama then curled up into a ball, turned into a pig, and pooped all over his office.