Consider this:

What if L. A. Calculus actually is good old Kodak, just with new mannerisms and a new catch phrase? NO EXCEPTIONS TOILET SCRUBBER

Consider this: A wild pack of retoids

Savage slathering retoids, ignoring your standard documentation, SegmentationFaulting your tutorial code, invoking your undefined behavior. And you can't do shit because they are stack boys. The retoid leader grabs your pointer and shoves it in his linked list. They sit on your standards committee and implement retoided changes and your language is forced to be their slave.

Such is the downfall of C.