Share your dumb programmer stories!

And stuff similar to this subject. I like to hear dumb people stories.

Look at other people's code, see this.

public static int makePositive(int num) {
    if(num < 0) {
        int pos = num-num-num;
        return pos;
    } else {
        return num;
    }
}

http://govnokod.ru/

That cannot be real.

>>3

It works, but it's a stupid way of doing it.

i'd name the variable 'nom'
>int pos = nom-nom-nom;
:3

>>5

lol


int abs(int num)
return num * (num>0 * 2 - 1);

int add(int x, int y) // only works for positive numbers
   if(y == 0) return x
   return add(x + 1, y - 1)

>>8
You have read your SICP.

>>2
I fucking love you, Nikita.

int add(int x, int y) // ftfy!
   if(y == 0) return x
   if(y < 0) return add(x - 1, y + 1)
   return add(x + 1, y - 1)

function add(x, y) {
   if(y == 1) { return x + 1; }
   var z = x % y;
   if(z == 0) { z = 1; }
   return add(x + z, y - z);
}

Works for positive numbers, at least.

data Num = Z | S Num deriving (Show, Eq)
add (S x) y = add x (S y)
add Z y = y


void SwapValue(int a, int a2){//INTEGERS'VE TO B DIFFERENT TO //WORK, ANYWAYS IF THEY'RE NOT U DON'T NEED THIS
int *aux=&a;

int *aux2=&a2;

int *aux3=aux;

aux2=aux;

aux=aux3;

std::count<<"SWAPED VALUES"+a"\n"+"AND"+b;

if(a==a2||a2==a){
std::cout<<"ERROR\n!\n!\n! error code 20!!!!!!!\n"
throw 20;

}

}

Do not convey you shitty code with shittier code.
Read good books and start programming instead of shitposting.

answers.yahoo.com

www.thedailywtf.com

>>7
int abs(int x){
    int y = x >> 31;
    return (x+y)^y;
}

>>16
Delish:
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/More-ZeroesMore-Problems.aspx

>>18
Go play in traffic.

>>19
You are welcome:
http://cad.chp.ca.gov/Traffic.aspx?gvIncidents=00017

(Commercial programmer here, working for large IT company)

Worst I've seen was some Java code in a printing-related class which defined two separate "rounding" functions. Each function used a bunch of ifs, type casts, and String formatting methods. They turned out to be exactly equivalent to (int) Math.floor(x) and (int) Math.ceil(x). But probably 50 times slower.

Second worst, an intern once added a new field to one of the main UI components of our application. It was a boolean field called simply theBool. Had something to do with animation and went through some fairly complex state changes, but I never managed to figure out exactly what it did. theBool. Thankfully the project died soon after.

>>21
Hungarian notation was invented by the Communists to hold back the progress of computing in the Free World.

>>21
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to reimplement it poorly.