You can lead a horse to water...
I don't know your problems, i can't explain them for you and expect to be right... But why should i have to? Because you ran out of people in New Zealand to burden? I mean that is pretty sad, but it has nothing to do with me.. I have heard (only a little) that you had a hard time as a kid/etc.. But if you are still carrying all that, then aren't you making it hard for your own Kids? What about yourself?