What are some alternatives to a database?

I want to store data and read/modify it on my Web server using Perl. I don't need something big and scary like SQL. Are there any modules or even just standard syntax for plaintext files to do this?

Why do you need a parser, for SQL? Do you need SQL? Why?
This is a sound argument, /prog/ must take the iniative to create BBQL, based on Shitpost Calculus.

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BBQL: BarbeQuery Language
Working Draft
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BBQL is a language intended to interface to a document-based database, which sits on top of the shiichan engine.

Language example:

[insert]
  shitpost document here
  [turtles]99[/turtles]
[/insert]

[select]
  [where]post.turtles > 20[/where]
  [where-not]post ILIKE /%sage%/[/where-not]
[/select]

A shitpost document may contain structured ISO BBcode, broken BBcode shows up as plaintext.