What are some alternatives to a database?

I want to store data and read/modify it on my Web server using Perl. I don't need something big and scary like SQL. Are there any modules or even just standard syntax for plaintext files to do this?

Databases are slow as shit because half the time you don't need the extra features bloat.

How the fuck do you think databases are implemented? It's all files in the end. Cut out the middleman.