/prog/ challenge: me, you, and The Sussman

We all know there are only three people on /prog/ — me, you, and The Sussman trolling us. Still, there are multiple established personae on /prog/. By the ⁶⁶Three Person Lemma⁹⁹, each one of them must be either me, you, or The Sussman. The challenge is to either divide the following list into three finite subsets that describe each of the posters on /prog/ or to prove that the task is impossible, disproving the lemma.

1. Me
2. You
3. The Sussman
4. The guy who sages a lot
5. The guy who refuses to sage for no good reason
6. The guy who refuses to sage with a good reason
7. The guy from /jp/
8. The guy from /b/
9. The guy from /pr/
10. The guy who can't program at all
11. Smug LISP weenie
12. Smug C weenie
13. Smug Haskell nomad
14. Enterprise Java suit
15. Sepples faggot
16. The proportional font guy
17. Sergeant Sagetank
18. Hotaru
19. MrVacBob-kun-sama
20. Erika
21. Christopher
22. Xarn
23. FrozenVoid
24. IGBO MOHAMMED
25. Jamestopher
26. UMH memesmith
27. HMA meme fan
28. HAXUS THE GREAT
29. The anusposter
30. The wayward freshman
31. The imageboard paladin
32. The guy who keeps saying ``cromulent''
33. The ``faggot quotes'' guy
34. The ``Stop using ``faggot quotes'''' guy
35. Haskell the dead dog
36. The -- guy
37. The necroposter
38. MILKRIBS4k
39. The opiates spammer
40. rand(all)
41. The Anticudder
42. Richard Stallman
43. THE MOST FUCKING NGGER MATURE
44. MDickie
45. Leah Culver
46. Flaming prescriptivist faggot
47. Flaming descriptivist faggot
48. The EMACS advocate
49. The Textmate screencasts guy
50. The VIM advocate
51. The bloat guy
52. The elitist BSD anushole
53. The Touhou guy
54. The guy who refuses to install Flash
55. Ahmed
56. The Shalom! guy
57. The LEL XD guy

Yannick fils de pute