Gaseous Farts

Holy shit, I've got a major load about to burst forth. I'm not sure I can make it to the bathroom down the hall. Looking for a closer receptacle, I think I've spotted an empty plastic bag from a convenience store just outside my door on the floor. Need to work up the will power to last the short distance.

In the time it took you to write and post this, you could have made it to the bathroom already!