The /prog/matic programmer

ANyways, so... I was reading The Pragmatic Programmer [1] and it occurred to me that we should probably boil these principles down for the novices amongst us. ITT things you want to carve into your colleagues' faces.

* KEEP IT FUCKING SIMPLE, MOTHERFUCKER!
* You're code is not ``clever'', it is autistic.
* Code is /not/ poetry or art. Go away! Fuck your OCD.
* This shit has been solved a thousand times over.
* You do not need to design with the latest and greatest in gang-of-four approved OOP design patterns, using infinitely scalable NoSQL solutions in hip new languages that compile down to JavaScript (srsly WTF?!), just to create a CRUD application.
* Not everyone gets off on code, some of us just want to make a living doing the least amount of effort that is required to deliver a consistent quality for an extended period of time.

I swear by god if I see one more AbstractControllerFactoryInterface

[1] http://pragprog.com/the-pragmatic-programmer, easily found online.

>>19

Allow me to rephrase >>18.
TURING COMPLETE MACRO SYSTEM TO PROVIDE ANY ABSTRACTION YOU WISH TO HAVE ON TOP OF YOUR MEMORY INSECURE STATICALLY TYPED STACK BOY SCOPED NOOB LANGUAGE

Using a static array is an optimization over using a dynamic array. It can be performed if the compiler is aware of an upper bound to the length of the array. This should be built in to the language: an array with an upper bound provided by the programmer. The upper bound can then be statically verified (to the fullest extent possible), tested dynamically with assertions, and taken for granted in the release.

In place streaming is one way to evaluate a lazy map/reduce. So you're favorite lazy functional language can do this too, although you typically wont have control over the buffer size.