Java's Crypt

Javascript is surprisingly quirky for such a hyped language.  Even Python has less quirks.

Alan Kay - JEW
Lev Vygotsky - JEW
Seymour Papert - JEW
Jean Piaget - JEW or HALF-JEW
Jerome Bruner - JEW
Noam Chomsky - JEW
John McCarthy - JEW
Karl Popper - JEW
Marvin Minsky - JEW
Terry Winograd - JEW
Gerald Sussman - JEW
Donald Knuth - JEW
Niklaus Wirth - JEW
Brendan Eich (inventor of JavaScript) - JEW
Andrei Alexandrescu (inventor of D) - JEW
Guid van Rossum (inventor of Python) - HALF-JEW
Andi Gutmans and Zeev Suraski (inventors of PHP) - JEWS
Jean David Ichbiah (inventor of Ada) - JEW
Bertrand Meyer (inventor of Eiffel) - JEW