Prog

How do I learn how to program or atleast comprehend what the fuck is going on when someone writes out a code?

Keep in mind I literally know nothing about anything dealing with programming, absolutely nothing, I don't even know what it does or can do.

lisp / sicp is only for people looking to achieve satori. OP is
interested merely in a superficial understanding of what the fuck
it is that we do.

OP: start with the wikipedia entry on SICP and just browse for a
couple hours, you'll get the jist of it. if you want to try and
make small programs right click, select "inspect element" and start going at it. Chrome comes with a console that lets you
experiment with javascript easily.

try typing document.title = 'go!' and take it from there.