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Perl will RUIN you as a programmer

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 12:11

Fair warning for those interested in learning Perl...it will ruin you as a programmer. Before I learned Perl I was a pretty decent C++ guy, built most of the guts of an OS in Java as a fun project to learn the language, could hack out a little x86, MIPS, x68k and z80 and a couple specialty asms and knew a smattering of a half-dozen other serious languages.
Perl absolutely ruined me. Right after learning Perl for some text processing I was doing, I also made a career change into a technology adviser and analyst for a large R&D firm. 6 months into that new job I happened to have a need to process some data. They had Java and Perl on the machine as a leftover from the previous owner of the box (C++ environments were still fairly expensive back then, security wouldn't let me install Linux or Cygwin, and anything else wouldn't pass muster).

I didn't want to fool around with Java's file I/O mess, so I just picked Perl. I got shit done, a lot of shit. I got 5 awards from the firm in 3 years and a nomination for a lifetime achievement award and all I was doing was hacking up some one-off Perl scripts to crunch some data! I was much more familiar with C++ and Java, and I simply hadn't thought about how much I was accomplishing and with such little effort.

Over the next few years I quietly left behind all of the other languages and got into a serious Perl groove. Solving issues in a few days that were stumping teams of a dozen for months. I am not a particularly talented programmer. I built little web apps to scratch department itches that came up during meetings ("why isn't there an acronym database?", "I wish we had a meta-search engine that search Yahoo, Altavista and Lycos at the same time!", "I wish I could scan these documents quickly for all of the chemicals in our chemical warehouse", etc. etc.) Then I started solving harder problems. My Perl prototype code was often passed off to a team where it was rewritten in a "real" language, but since I was the one who solved the tricky problem, it was my solution that ended up being rewritten in C++ or Java.

Then came a time I needed to write something in Java based on a deliverable requirement. You know what? I couldn't do it. I don't mean technically, I mean mentally. everything seemed like a huge pain in the ass. The delta from thought to code seemed so drawn out that by the time I had put my thought down into code I had often forgotten what the hell I was coding in the first place. Simple exercises involving half a dozen lines of code and minimal thought turned into half hour long dives into the standard library docs...yes I said it, the Perl solution might be longer than the Java one, but the time to just code it out was an order of magnitude faster. I ended up in groove with Perl I simply couldn't achieve even after years of working in other languages. I finished the Java project and swore off "real" languages for good after that. I had simply been broken by Perl and ruined for good.

Perl just simply came together like how my brain worked. I could dump out ideas and it just worked...and I got shit done. With a little careful planning I could even tackle larger projects, a couple that approached a 100k lines of Perl (and had the annoying habit of running faster than the later Java rewrites, which eventually had to be rewritten in hand optimized multi-threaded C++ with in-line ASM to beat the original 5 year old Perl in performance)

It was the difference between typing text with a keyboard and handwriting all caps, backwards in a mirror, while translating each word from English to Russian via a English-French dictionary then French-Russian dictionary in the dark by candlelight.

All that being said the long Perl 5->6 winter had me reaching outside of Perl for a while into Python and it was "ok". I liked how my code was automatically readable and simple. The standard libraries are badass. But it just didn't have the there there that Perl has. The automagic flow from synapse to working code. I'm happy to see the community starting to pick back up but sadly I'm hopelessly locked in 2001 Perl and many of the idioms from that time. It would simply take too much of a time investment to get entirely up-to-speed with where Perl is today. I'd probably be better spending the time on something more marketable with better and more modern library support.

Here's the real kicker, I ended up using Perl to get really good at my non-programming (but still technical) job that it would probably take me years of dedicated effort to get back up to speed with where modern development is at all. I'm old enough now that I'd simply be much more comfortable managing modern developers than being one.

So yeah, that's how Perl might ruin you.

Name: sage 2012-08-14 12:50

sage

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 13:18

Perl is shit. It's the most horrible example of worse-is-better made.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 14:32

Perl was my first and now I'm unfit for programming

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 14:39

I concur with OP. I worked 3 years in Perl with a team of 4 people. It was really fun. Now, i have to work in JAVA and it's really a PAIN IN THE ANUS.

Fuck Java

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 15:35

Before I learned Perl I was a pretty decent C++ guy
built most of the guts of an OS in Java

So you where a C++/Java faggot and think you were a decent programmer? No wonder you think Perl ruined you. You never knew how to program in the first place.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 15:48

this is one of those articles that pretends to hate Perl but is really an advertisement on using Perl as an all-round do everything quick language. the fact is you can get paid a lot of money for having that kind of skill which is why OP mentioned all the awards he got from the company he worked at

saging

Name: VIPPER 2012-08-14 16:16

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 17:16

If you think Perl can ruin you, Lisp is worse.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 22:10

You're bragging about enterprise shit? Not kawaii, sag'd.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 23:02

Back to le Hacker News, ``please"!

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-14 23:15

>>11
too bad bbcode is lame as fuck

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-15 2:18

>>12
back to le whence you came, ``faggot''

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-15 3:05

>>13
/hop hop kebab/

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-15 9:39

With a little careful planning I could even tackle larger projects, a couple that approached a 100k lines of Perl (and had the annoying habit of running faster than the later Java rewrites, which eventually had to be rewritten in hand optimized multi-threaded C++ with in-line ASM to beat the original 5 year old Perl in performance)
Yeah... dream on

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-25 22:34

goddamn that's a lot of bullshit

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