Any decent modern general-purpose languages?

Assembly: Unportable. No standardised syntax.
Classical Visual Basic: Some good parts. Shit overall.
C: Shitty standard library. Deficient type system. Can't into Unicode. ``Unportable assembly.''
D and C++: Obfuscated boilerplate languages.
Java and C#: Forced OOP.
Common Lisp: Archaic cons-based library. Writing complex macros is a PitA due to the unlispy quotation syntaxes.
Scheme: CL without namespaces.
Clojure and Erlang: Concurrency is unneeded outside of a few very specific applications. Parallelism is where it's at.
OCaml: Great language, only one, deficient, implementation.
Haskell: Academic sex toy.
Forth: Reinventing the wheel over and over.
Ruby: Implicit declarations. Slow as fuck.
Python: Implicit declarations. FioC.
Perl: Brain damage.
PHP: Pretty much shit.
JavaScript: "" == false

It's impossible to list them all but, please, what decent modern general-purpose languages exist?

>>20
Languages like D, Go and Rust are the future
That's funny because they are all terribly useless. Absolutely no one uses them in production, for good reason. Go is a shit language; it's like C mixed with Javascript and Pascal, but crippled. Google doesn't even use it for anything important. The only reason anyone has heard of it is because of cat-v Plan 9 faggots astroturfing on the web. Rust and D are even more obscure and shitty. D is like C++ except for retards. Not to mention that none of these have compilers that produce code as fast as C++ compilers, or even the JVM for that matter.