LLVM? More likely LoLVM

LLVM has some ENTERPRISE QUALITY.

It has function createMCSubtargetInfo in Target class that creates subtarget for processor and its features. Unless you pass "help" string to it instead of CPU model.

In this case this function prints everything to stderr and calls exit(1), shutting down your whole application.

You write GUI program that has no stderr? Well, sucks to be you.
You can't get list of processors or features otherwise. Only by passing "help" and quiting application.
Thanks goodness LLVM has a nice license.

>>4,7-18
The real WTF is that the function does something completely different and unexpected from what it should be doing, triggered by an odd use of parameter. OP would've been as irritated if passing "help" caused it to speak the documentation through the default audio device.