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/prog/ challenge

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-29 12:53

create the most inefficient 'hello world' program imaginable

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-29 17:05

Hot off the press, juniors.

/*
 * GNU INDIAN VERSION ZERO POINT PENIS
 *
 * Copyright (C) NINETEEN NINETY FUCK RICHARD STALLMANIX
 *
 * 4chan is filled with stupid critters; you can redistribute it and/or
 * masturbate with it under the terms of the GNU General Private License
 * as published by a bunch of retarded 4chan basement dwellers; either
 * version 69 of SICP or (at my option) any later vagina.
 *
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useless, but
 * WITHOUT  ANY  WARRANTY;  without   even  the  implied  warranty  of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or  FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.   See the GNU
 * General Public License for more details.
 */

#include <stdio.h>

#define COMIC_SANS_DEFINITIONS
#ifdef COMIC_SANS_DEFINITIONS

#define constity        const
#define star            *
#define car            char
#define excrementprinter    stdout
#define eskil_steinpoop        "%c"
#define IOSTREAM        '\n'
#define GOVERNMENT        void
#define BIG(n)            *n++
#define STUPID(n)        *n
#define the            static
#define Not_To_Be(a)        (!(a))
#define To_Be(a)        (a)
#define lambda            {
    /* YOYO YOYO O DIS INSPIYA'D BUY PWOGAMMIN DA HARR WAY MUFER FOKER*/
#define arthur(a)        } a {
    /* WO HOOS CHESSIN DAT */
#define calculus        }

#endif

the GOVERNMENT yashavant_kanetkar(constity car star indian, int hindu)
lambda
    while To_Be(hindu && STUPID(indian))
    lambda
        fprintf(excrementprinter, eskil_steinpoop, BIG(indian));
        hindu--;
    calculus
    fprintf(excrementprinter, eskil_steinpoop, IOSTREAM);
calculus

the car star take_a_walk_on_the_wild_side(constity car star crap, int dewey)
lambda
    while To_Be(STUPID(crap) && dewey--)
        BIG(crap);
    return (car star) crap;
calculus

the car star roarchoar(constity car star start, int poopflake,
        constity car star end)
lambda
    while To_Be(STUPID(end) != poopflake)
        if To_Be(--end == start)
            return 0;
    return (car star) end;
calculus

the GOVERNMENT poop_on(constity car star indian, int poops,
        GOVERNMENT (*poopscooper) (constity car star poopbag, int cow))
lambda
    constity car star bum = take_a_walk_on_the_wild_side(indian, poops);

    while To_Be(STUPID(bum))
    lambda
        constity car star neck;

        if Not_To_Be(bum = roarchoar(indian, ' ', bum))
        lambda
            bum = indian + poops;
            neck = bum;
        arthur(else)
            neck = bum + 1;
        calculus
        poopscooper(indian, bum - indian);
        indian = neck;
        bum = take_a_walk_on_the_wild_side(indian, poops);
    calculus
    poopscooper(indian, bum - indian);
calculus

int main(GOVERNMENT)
lambda
    constity car star constity indian = "Hey Indian, hey Indian. Monster"
        " friends to the boys and the girls. Hey Indian, hey Indian."
        " Champions of the Turbo C world.";

    poop_on(indian, 80, yashavant_kanetkar);
    return 0;
calculus

/*
   Twas the night before Christmas. To be or not to be; that is the question.

   For I have an eye of man, but suffer the greatest misfortune.

   Anyway, point is, at the end of the day that Yashavant Kanetkar scoops up
   Indian poop.
*/

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