Help me, \prock\

/prog/, I don't know what a touhou is, nor do I want to have sex with one, but I WANT to know, and I WANT to want to have sex with one. Please help my dream come true...

Please /prog/. I'm begging you. The real world is so cold and ugly. The 2D feels so warm and loving. I want a waifu. I want to feel 2D love, and to be loved by the 2D. Please help me find a 2D girl. I don't even know where to start.