sad

I am 22. I have no friends, no experience with girls at all, am extremely socially awkward, I am fat and dirty and I have no personality, no skills or talent or passion either, no motivation, no money, I'm extremely lazy and irresponsible, I'm addicted to various drugs, I'm not manly at all and I'm a sick fuck (not going into detail) to boot, I'm afraid of every little thing and I have no willpower. If I had to describe myself in one word, I'm a loser.
And whenever I can't get drugs or alcohol to take my mind off it, this is what happens. Because it all looks so bleak and hopeless.
So tell me /prog/, what went wrong and can you help me?

Thank you and sorry. I promise this won't happen again.

>>5
This is the answer right here, combined >>4's sage advise: become a SICP monk, and meditate on the mysteries of lambda until you achieve Satori and every knot you perceive now is unraveled as a list is by cdr.