How to patch semem links?

If you guys answer this thread seriously I will never make an off-topic thread like this again on /prog/, so sorry in advance.

Can someone please tell me how to prevent semen (sperm?) leakage after orgasm. I ask you guys this seeing how you know how to handle memory leaks so well and whatnot. I'm not a circumcised Jew, so I can wrap tissue around it (but surely there must be a better way)? Do all guys leak sperm like this or am I just loosey-goosey? I try to squeeze as much as it as possible out after cleaning, but there's always some left inside waiting to ooze out while I'm off guard. Should I just embrace the leak and live with my boxers smelling like strawberries, yeah, that's what my sperm smells like after it has dried up.

Masturbate into a condom. Walk around naked and do something for half an hour after you cum. Unless you have a particularly tiny cock it should stay on until you go completely flaccid. When it's finally falling off, then remove it, squeeze, and wipe with tissues.